Tuck Those Ribbons Under Your Helmet
by sailorhathor
Summary: Winsister AU. Winsister/Multiple Partners incl Wincest. The hunting life isn't easy on anyone. For Kerry Winchester, it may be too much. The worst, though, was being in love with a multi-dimensional wavelength that may not ever love her back.
1. Chp 1 thru 3

**Tuck Those Ribbons Under Your Helmet, Chps 1-3**  
A _Supernatural_ Fic  
by Laurel (Sailorhathor)

**Rating:** Adult17+  
**Pairings:** Winsister/Castiel, Winsister/Ruby, Winsister/Dean, Winsister/Sam, Winsister/Adam (in a dream), Sam/Castiel/Dean  
**Dates:** Written September 2010  
**Word Count:** 35,896  
**Summary:** Winsister AU. The hunting life isn't easy on anyone. For Kerry Winchester, it may be too much. The worst, though, was being in love with a multi-dimensional wavelength that may not ever love her back.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for most of season 4 and the first few episodes of season 5. Incest, Het, Femmeslash, and Slash. Sex venom (similar to sex pollen), dub-con, brief non-con, fisting, sex toys, vanilla bondage, use of the Bible in a way that some would probably consider blasphemy, simulated scarfing, and mention of underage Wincest. This is not the "nice" Ruby from season 4, but Ruby with her season 3 personality, and then some. She is very much a demon. In fact, I imagine the Ruby in this story looking like Katie Cassidy all the way through.  
**Beta Thanks:** Thanks as always to Sammie for the wonderful beta!  
**Author's Notes:** Title comes from the Tori Amos song "Mother." Abridged version of a longer story (which I'll eventually write out to the end). My personal model for Kerry is actress Alicia Silverstone.  
Just wanted to make note of the fact that I do not condone incest - real life incest is a completely different thing from the fictional incest that happens in this story. The only thing that made this story possible is the very unique relationship between the Winchesters. They somehow make it all seem plausible, even through the angst.

Chapter 1: The Hunting Life

**Word Count this Chapter:** 5,277

The hunting life isn't easy on anyone.

They may pretend it doesn't bother them. They may find ways to deal with it. But the life is never easy.

Some move around constantly. Others may find a home base and work out of it. Each would say this life works for them. It's probably possible to make a case for either way being the best method of hunting. It doesn't really matter in terms of the work. There's always plenty of work, no matter where one goes. Always plenty of evil to fight.

But there's a cost. People are not machines. Witnessing the atrocities of the hunting life has broken more people than could be counted on both hands. So many families, torn apart, sometimes emotionally, sometimes literally. Acts of demonic violence committed simply for the fun of it. Walls covered in blood and human tissue. Children, dead children. Lives lost for senseless reasons. Being forced to kill because it's the right thing to do.

Moving several times a year, not only to look for the next job, but to run from the authorities for things that were done to save lives. They would never believe the stories. This one was killed because she was a vampire. This one was killed because he was possessed by a demon. They would just say the stories were insane. Running is easier.

But how does one explain that to a child? Constantly changing schools. Leaving behind friends that were made. Abandoning relationships, projects, dreams, loves. The isolation of having no constant but that small family. All in the name of fighting evil.

Sometimes, that evil worms its way into the small family. Before, it was easy to keep the two separate. Family, love; evil, kill. But sometimes, the evil overtakes the family, and lines become blurred. What is right and what is wrong.

Seeing that, dealing with it, year in and year out, nothing changing, will warp a person.

Everyone has their own ways of dealing with the pain. Some leave. Some drink. Some hunt for sport. Some take refuge in a loved one. There are many ways.

For Kerry Winchester, it was the experimentation that brought her peace.

A family that hunts for over twenty years accumulates a lot of pain. Pain and artifacts. Sometimes, John Winchester would see a cursed object and see potential for it, potential for it to be used against the evil that had created it in the first place. He would file it away for future use in one of his storage lockers, in a box or something fancier, depending on what was needed. The entrance to the storage locker would be painted with wards that would keep out the evil that may come to steal it, to claim it back, because everything in John Winchester's storage lockers is valuable to someone.

Those wards didn't keep out his children, though.

Kerry had never really been made for the hunting life. She did her best to keep up with her brothers physically, but emotionally, it all took its toll. It's not that her brothers dealt with it better; they had their own escapes. It's just that their escapes were usually more socially acceptable. Her brothers didn't go looking for their distractions in their father's storage lockers.

Kerry never had much of an explanation for the things she did. It wasn't until Sam and the demon blood that she had any ammunition to use at the intervention that inevitably followed her latest foray into the world of the supernatural drug, because that's essentially what it was - using these profane things to get high. To escape, to run, without leaving her family for her own freedom like Sammy had done.

At times, the experimentation involved something holy, like when she drank the Egyptian ceremonial water. When her family asked her why she would ever do such a thing, she would shrug and say it was her age at fault, just plain curiosity and boredom. You put a gun in front of a child, they want to play with it.

Like Sammy, Kerry had always been very curious about how things worked. Cause and effect. What would happen if I...?

Essentially, though, it was always about the escape.

These excuses didn't wash as well when she became an adult. When Dean was 30 and they were dealing with the angels and Alistair, Kerry had just turned 28 and was left in charge of trying to keep Castiel from disappearing as he often did; Sam thought it would be better if they kept tabs on the angel while Dean was still in the hospital after Alistair's beating. She had to keep him talking, keep him answering questions, so he wouldn't find some angelic thing to do and pop out while her back was turned. It was a challenge Kerry felt she could handle.

"How do you think Sam did it?" she asked.

Castiel had been sitting quietly on the other side of the hotel room, lost in thought, his hands clasped together in his lap. When Kerry spoke to him, he looked up at her and asked, "Did what, kill Alistair with his mind?"

"No, chew gum and walk at the same time."

He furrowed his brow at her. "That was sarcasm, wasn't it?"

She nodded. "What do you think I meant, Cas?" Kerry sat up on the dresser that held the television with her feet in a chair; her eyes stole between Castiel and the pictures on the wall of the new hotel room Sam had told her to rent. "Sam's never done anything like that before."

"We don't know how he did it." A troubled look passed over his face, and he amended, "I don't know how he did it."

Kerry frowned, looking at the Mondrian print on the wall, oddly sandwiched between two female nudes. "I'm sorry about Uriel."

Castiel flinched the tiniest bit. "I should have known sooner."

"He had us all fooled."

There was a long pause before Castiel spoke again. "I suppose."

She tried to turn the subject back to Sam. "Maybe it was the blood Yellow Eyes fed him, when Sam was a baby. Maybe his powers just, you know, grow over time."

"Perhaps," Castiel began. "Somehow, I think we're missing something."

The idea filled Kerry with dread. "He and Ruby have been up to something."

Again, Castiel looked up, locking eyes with her. "Oh?"

With another nod, she explained, "While Dean was..." Kerry swallowed hard. "Last summer, Ruby kept coming around, and Sam would ask me to go somewhere so they could work alone. Said he didn't want to involve me, that it was private. Not that it was dangerous or anything, but that it was 'private.'" The memory made her visibly angry, narrowing her eyes and balling up one fist on her knee. "I just thought they were working on a way to bring Dean back."

"You didn't argue with Sam when he asked you to leave?"

Kerry shrugged, but there was pain and shame in her eyes. "Some. But I needed time alone to deal with Dean's death. Being around Ruby bothered me." The balled up fist relaxed a little. "Still does. Sam has been going off alone with her again." She sighed. "I don't know what they're doing, but Sam couldn't perform those mind exorcisms until they started working together."

Giving that some thought, Castiel finally grunted, "Huh."

Kerry added, "If whatever they were doing was going to bring Dean back, I wasn't going to stand in their way."

He looked at her, his expression soft and sympathetic. "Grief is the toughest human emotion."

They each said nothing for several long moments. Then she changed the subject. "Cas, do you feel physical pain?"

The question came out of nowhere; his eyebrows dipped in confusion. "In what sense?"

"Well, Alistair really beat you up, or at least, he beat up your vessel pretty good, even impaled you on a hook. Any normal person would have been screaming in pain, but you didn't. You never do."

"Oh." For some reason, this line of questioning amused Castiel, and he smiled a little. "Angels don't feel pain the same way humans do. Just pain that is inflicted on a spiritual level, or on the Heavenly plane."

"Hm. That makes sense."

Castiel nodded.

"What about getting drunk? Can you do that?"

He couldn't help but grin thoughtfully at her curiosity, a small grin. She grinned too - for Castiel, that was a big show of emotion. For the most part, his emotions seemed to range from stoical watchfulness to irritation to anger, and often confusion; anything good-natured was a rare sight. "I don't believe so. It would take a great deal of alcohol, if so."

"What would that do to your vessel? Would he die of alcohol poisoning?"

"No, not as long as I'm in here." He quickly added, "I can heal any such injury."

Kerry suddenly began to giggle. "It would be fun to see you drink my brothers under the table." She laughed harder. "We should do it as a joke."

Laughing wasn't really something that Castiel seemed to do, but he did smile and make a brief sound of amusement resembling a chuckle.

Her eyes danced as she thought of what a great prank that would be. Then they stole back to the nudes on the wall. Kerry shifted on the dresser, leaning back and looking Castiel over. "What about sex?" she asked, sucking at her bottom lip.

His eyes widened. "Sex?"

"Yeah. Do angels have it?"

The question obviously shook him; Castiel cleared his throat, flustered. He wondered what brought this up. "There is some amount of... relations... on the celestial plane."

Kerry hopped up off the dresser. The action made Castiel jump. "What about here, inside your vessel?" She sidled up a little closer to him. "Can you feel it?"

"Kerry... I..."

"Do you get aroused?"

He looked up at her, fidgeting awkwardly. "These are strange things for you to be asking me."

"I'm just curious." Kerry began running her hand through the hair at the back of Castiel's neck and inside his coat collar, working to loosen his tie. Castiel's eyes darted nervously back and forth. "Did I ever tell you that you're really attractive?"

He seemed genuinely confused. "You've never seen me, Kerry. It would burn your eyes out of your head."

She tittered, trying to be flirtatious. "I mean your vessel."

"Oh." Castiel thought it over. "You may've said that to me before."

"Well it's true." Kerry continued stroking his hair and neck.

After an uncomfortable sigh, Castiel looked up at her, into her eyes, feeling within. "You're in pain," he stated simply. "Your older brother is in the hospital, and the other one is up to something. You're worried and you're in pain."

Kerry's mouth twitched, her smile faltering for a moment at his words.

He took advantage of her silence to continue with a question, one that he wasn't sure he wanted her to answer. "What are you looking for, Kerry?"

She wasn't sure how to answer that. Could he see inside her? He was an angel, after all. Would he know if she lied? Finally, she answered, "Comfort," and bent down to kiss him.

Castiel raised his head and accepted the kiss, although he wasn't sure how far he should let this go, how far she wanted this to go. In the back of his mind, Castiel weighed all his options and the possible backlash. Dean and Sam probably wouldn't be happy with this being allowed to happen, but it could be worse, couldn't it? And what would Kerry do if he rejected her? He knew of her history... how far the girl had gone in the past to get that "comfort" she was now asking for. But was that any excuse? Kerry was a grown woman who made her own decisions.

Still, Castiel wondered if there was more behind this than sex.

When she broke the kiss, Kerry asked, "So, can you?"

"Become aroused? Some aspect of sex is spiritual, and because of that, I can feel it." He saw the mischievous gleam in her eye. "I've been told that it can take a great deal of attention for a human to bring an angel to climax. But, the answer to your question is yes."

Kerry ran her hand over his chest. "Hm, that probably means that angels have great stamina. Do they?"

"Yes, but..." Castiel looked down at her hand. The girl definitely wanted to see this through, Heaven help him. "...we shouldn't do anything, Kerry. I mean..." He gazed back up at her, awkward and flustered. "...you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"

She had to laugh, snickery and loud. "You're so cute when you're like this, Cas." Kerry crouched down and started to undo his tie. He just blinked at her, watching her do it. "Is it working?"

"The seduction?"

"Yeah..."

"You really mean to have sex with an angel?"

"Oh yeah..."

"Do you have any idea what that's like?"

Licking her lips, she pulled the knot free and slid Castiel's tie off. "I'm _dying_ to find out."

"What about what I want?"

That stopped her for a moment. Kerry looked into his face, trying to read his eyes. "What are you saying?"

The hurt in her voice... she tried to hide it, but he could hear it. It wasn't that she was physically repulsive; on the contrary, she was very pretty for a human. But there were repercussions to think of, and his own inexperience with her species, and... and she was looking at him like a wounded little girl. At that moment, Castiel saw inside her again, and he realized that if he didn't look after her tonight, she could get hurt. She _would_ get hurt. She would do anything to soothe her wounded feelings. At that moment, Kerry reminded him of her older brother. Always hurting inside but trying desperately to pretend that everything in life was casual, that pain rolled off her like water from a duck's back.

"Uhh... I'm just saying, if your brothers found out, it would be awkward," Castiel finally replied.

"Then we don't tell them." Kerry moved closer, until her mouth was only inches from his.

"But, I don't know if I could keep that secret."

"We'll find a way to deal with it." She realized that Castiel wasn't moving toward her. This _was_ a bit awkward, but that was to be expected. "Tell me, Castiel... do you think I'm sexy?"

"Sexy?"

"Do you understand that concept?"

Looking off to one side, he seemed to think about it. "Sexy is when you find a person attractive enough to make you think of sex. But, I don't think you understand... angels don't have sex the same way humans do. It's more of a... merging."

"You don't understand human relations if you think it's that different." Kerry tried the question again. "Do you think I'm sexy?"

Again, Castiel thought about it, his brow furrowed in discomfort. "I think you are attractive in the way humans are attractive. But in terms of angels... merging... it's just very..."

Finally, she realized what he was saying. "Cas, are you a virgin?"

Now he glared at her, looking almost offended. "Not on the celestial plane."

"But you've never had sex with a human."

Castiel shook his head. "When would I have had the opportunity?"

Kerry began to laugh. "This is priceless." She slipped her hands under his suit collar. "I've got myself a virgin angel."

"Well, I, I guess you do," Castiel stammered, a little embarrassed. He tried to smile.

She moved in again. "I'll be nice to you," Kerry said, and kissed him once more.

This time, Castiel leaned into it.

It was as much a learning experience for him as it was for her. Within a minute, his kisses became greedy and desperate. Castiel liked it, and he wanted more. Kerry tried to slow down his pace, but he kissed dirty, having no idea how to draw it out. Now on her knees, her hands were in his hair and he clutched her to him, and they kissed for some endless amount of time that was actually only a few minutes.

Kerry pulled away to breathe. They were both panting now. "Let's... let's slow down a little, okay?"

Castiel let out a small, needy moan that sent shivers up her spine. "Okay."

"Is this... is this your vessel reacting, or you?" she panted.

The shortness of breath was the vessel. Angels didn't have lungs, they didn't need to breathe. Still, Castiel didn't know where his feelings ended and the vessel's began. "I don't even know anymore," he said.

With a breathless little laugh, Kerry realized her knees were beginning to hurt, and tried to shift her position a bit. She put her hand on his leg to brace herself, but wound up placing it right on his crotch. Castiel let out another one of those moans, but this one had a great deal more surprise in it, and he jumped in the vessel's skin.

Kerry pulled her hand back in reaction to how she'd startled him. "Oh! Uh..." She put her hand back in the same place and stroked it. Castiel moaned louder, eyes going wide. "You're really hard," she informed him, almost at a conspiratorial whisper, voice husky and pleased with herself.

"Uh... that's supposed to happen," he said matter-of-factly.

Nodding, Kerry traced the lines of the hard cock through his pants. Castiel's eyes went wide, then narrowed, then widened, then narrowed. A series of deep moans rumbled in his throat, and finally, his eyes closed.

"Does it feel good?"

He nodded back, drinking it all in. "It's not... quite the same as the sensation... on the celestial plane, but... it's quite good." Letting out a long breath, Castiel elaborated on his statement with, "It strikes me as odd that God would give you such a strong... _strong_ sensation... something so irresistible, and then expect you not to do it all the time." He allowed himself to just feel what her hand was doing. "It's almost cruel."

"Tell me about it," Kerry laughed. She continued touching him through his pants, watching the ecstasy on his face and snickering to herself over a portion of his hair that was sticking up. "Let's move to the bed, okay?"

Eyes coming open, Castiel knew somehow that more good feelings were to follow. "Okay," he said, and eagerly let her lead him to the bed.

Kerry urged him to lie back across it, getting him to scoot until almost his entire body was on the mattress, just his feet hanging off the side. Then she climbed on top of him and began to unbutton his shirt, pushing open the trench coat and the suit coat. "You've got so many clothes," Kerry remarked.

"It's what the vessel was wearing the day that we left."

"You're like a Christmas present, wrapped by Sammy. He uses too much tape," she giggled. When Kerry reached the last button, she pulled out the tucked-in shirt and gave his chest a good rub down. "Your vessel has a pretty nice body."

Castiel said, "Thank you," although he wasn't sure why.

"I wish I could see what you really look like." She kept rubbing his chest, stroking and caressing him fondly. "Angels are just balls of light?"

"Not exactly." Then he added, "It's hard to describe. Some have multiple eyes, multiple wings, multiple heads... some are wheels of fire... some would strike you dumb just to look at them."

"Are you a wheel of fire?"

Castiel shook his head. "I was not made for human eyes."

"I don't care what you were designed for." Kerry leaned down and whispered in his ear. "I know that you're beautiful."

He shook his head again, looking at her, so close to him. "My natural appearance would be grotesque to you."

Now she shook her head. "Can't be."

They began to kiss again.

There was something Kerry wanted very badly here, and she decided to go for it. Sex with an angel had to be something incredible compared to sex with a regular human, even if she was actually making love to Castiel through his vessel. But sex with an angel _while high_ had to be even better. "Inside that vessel, you change something about his makeup, don't you?" Kerry suddenly asked between kisses.

Confused why she would ask such a thing, Castiel answered her a bit cautiously. "You mean... how I can heal him so easily?"

"Not exactly. I mean, a demon can impale you on a hook and you don't even cry out. It's like you're made of steel."

"I suppose it's sort of like that."

"So... other things could be changed about your vessel. Enhanced, just by you being in there."

Shrugging, he replied, "Yes, that's true."

"Kind of like how drinking the blood of Yellow Eyes gave Sam powers."

"Yes, kind of like that. But in all fairness, your brother was probably psychic already; that's what brought Azazel to him in the first pla - "

Kerry had confirmed what she wanted to know. She cut him off with another kiss.

Seconds later, she was kissing down Castiel's chest, undoing his belt and pulling it open. He sighed and arched his back when Kerry's fingers wrapped around the shaft of the vessel's cock, shivered and moaned helplessly when her mouth enveloped the head of it and then slid down, taking most of him into that warm, wet cavern. He'd never felt anything quite like this. "Kerry, that's... uuuhmmm..."

She worked on him until her mouth went so dry that she couldn't suck anymore, couldn't lick, her tongue like sandpaper. When she looked at the clock, Kerry realized that an hour had gone by. "God, Cas, don't you ever cum?" she panted.

He was a mess of sweat and rumpled clothes, just writhing underneath her, unable to resist. But no matter how long she massaged his balls or how fast she bobbed her head up and down, Castiel just stayed hard. "Huh?" he said, looking down at her.

"You did say it would take a great deal of effort, didn't you?" 'Effort' came out as "eth-fert" as her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth for a second.

"Effort?" Castiel saw his cock standing just as straight as ever, wet with the last of her saliva. "Oh, yes. I did say that."

Pounding a fist into the mattress, Kerry vowed not to quit. "Gimme a sec." She pushed her hair out of her face and got off the bed to grab a bottle of soda from the little fridge next to the dresser. As she took a long swig from it, she just looked at his naked torso and crotch, tilting her head. "My God, it's like a sundial."

Castiel looked at it too. "What you're doing with it, it... ah... I like it." His blue eyes were filled with boyish hope. "Please do it some more."

"Oh, I'm sure you do." She put the soda down on the floor. "It's called giving head."

"That label doesn't seem to fit the activity."

With a shrug, she said, "I didn't name it," and pulled her shirt off over her head. Kerry hoped the sight of a naked woman might make him finish faster. "Have you ever seen a woman naked, Castiel?"

He seemed to like the idea; Castiel leaned up so he could see her better, his eyes hungry with arousal. "Not under these circumstances."

Kerry rubbed one of her breasts through the white lacy bra she wore, very slowly. "Do you want to?"

Castiel nodded vigorously, like a bobble-head doll that had been poked very hard.

"It's adorable how curious you are," she commented, and unhooked her bra.

The angel didn't know where his vessel left off and he began; was it him reacting to these sights, or James Novak? Did Kerry even know the vessel's name? Castiel couldn't help but think of these things, his mind running wild, as she tossed the white fabric aside and then casually slid her panties down to her ankles with a few tilts of her hips. How did people feel like this on a regular basis and not lose their minds?

Kerry stretched, milking her nudity for all it was worth (it seemed to be driving Castiel mad), and climbed on top of him, on the bed, looming over his body and taking the time to plant a long kiss on his panting mouth. "I'm sorry, but we'll have to save the head for another time. I gotta see what this cock feels like inside me." Before poising herself over him, Kerry briefly wondered if the pill would even be effective against an angel, or if his orgasm would blow her ovaries right out the top of her head.

That'd be all they needed. Apocalypse coming, and her with a big goofy smile on her face, bundle of light in a diaper, and two holes in her head. She almost laughed out loud.

Castiel made one of those helpless, needy moans again when Kerry took hold of his cock. She lowered herself down onto it and then shuddered all over with pleasure. "Goddamn you're hard," she huffed out.

He tried to furrow his brow in disdain for what she'd said, but it was a difficult thing to do with that wet heat surrounding him. "Don't... Lord's name... vain," Castiel managed.

"Sorry, sorry," she replied, her fingers beginning to dig into his sides. Kerry wasn't even sure she'd be able to move without exploding; he felt like steel inside her, but warm. If only all men could get it up this well... she experimentally began to rock up and down, and within a minute, was fucking him hard and fast, nursing orgasm number one. "Cas... Caaaas..."

Suddenly, he looked up at her, confused. "What?"

Through her panting moans, Kerry started to laugh breathlessly. "You're doing this... to me... feels good..."

He seemed to understand. "Oh."

Roughly forty-five minutes later and Castiel still hadn't orgasmed, although he seemed to be enjoying himself. Kerry, though, was a mess. What hair she wasn't whipping around her head wildly with every downward thrust of her hips was plastered to her forehead with sweat. After seven climaxes, her own juices had run down her thighs; she was sloppy wet with it. It felt like her heart might come beating right through her chest. She was exhausted. "C-Cas... Castiel... do you think... you might..."

He cupped her breasts in his hands and rubbed at her nipples just because he liked the look on her face when he did that, the look of ecstasy. The angel did so like to please the Winchesters, and he wasn't even totally sure why. Kerry promptly came again.

Castiel hadn't heard her make that sound before. The cry she let out was hoarse and breathless, and her body shook helplessly in his hands. It almost sounded like she was in pain near the end. "Cas, I... I'm starting to cramp... in my hips. And my legs, and... please, I want it to be good for you too."

He seemed confused, but that was nothing new. "What do you want me to do?" he asked.

Rolling her eyes, Kerry huffed out, "Cum!"

"You want me to have an orgasm?"

"Uh, yeah. That's the point."

"Oh!"

She rolled her eyes again. "It's not all about me," Kerry said, just as she noticed that he was arching his back, pressing himself higher up into her. A rumble built in his throat. "Castiel? What are you - is this how you - "

Waving a hand before Kerry's eyes, Castiel whispered something in Enochian. He grabbed her hips and pushed her down impossibly hard.

White light exploded before Kerry's eyes. Her body filled with such an intense feeling of peace and warmth that she didn't even know where she was, just floating on a cloud. After some undetermined amount of time, she tried her voice. "Castiel?" Her voice sounded hoarse, but it was there. Kerry realized her ears were ringing, and there was a definite breeze coming from somewhere that hadn't been there before.

The next thing she became aware of was that his arms were around her. And that her back was now against something hard. Had they fallen out of bed? As she still could see nothing but whiteness, Kerry took her hand from where it was curled against Castiel's chest and put it out, feeling for something, anything. Her fingers fell upon something soft, like a pillow full of down feathers.

"Mmmm," she hummed, stroking whatever it was. Over the next few seconds, Kerry began to feel more and more of the real world around her. Her legs were wrapped around Castiel's waist. He was inside her, but finally going flaccid. And she felt like she was still on top, resting down on him. But how could that be?

Castiel kissed the side of her head. "That was a treasured new experience, Kerry," he said. His voice sounded different, like two voices speaking on top of one another, one his human vessel, and one so musical it sent her ears ringing again. The more he spoke, the more the musical voice faded. "Thank you."

"Cas, I can't... everything's white."

"Relax. Your sight will return." And then, "You can't be allowed to see it all."

"All of what?" Kerry reached beyond the fluffy down soft thing... and found empty air.

"Me."

Her awareness came back all at once. Kerry saw Castiel's wings, spread wide, flapping just enough... to keep them up on the ceiling.

A brief scream escaped her and her hands flew backward, plastered flat against the ceiling. "Castieeeeel!" she screeched. That was the hard thing against her back, the _roof_.

"I won't drop you. I promise." They began to descend slowly toward the bed.

Kerry wrapped her arms around his torso and gripped him tight out of fear, whimpering. When they landed, he brought his head out of the crook of her neck, and for just a split second, she saw six eyes. The two his vessel had, another between, and three more spread out across his forehead. Then she blinked and he had the face she was used to, the face of his vessel. Another blink and the wings were no longer spread over the hotel comforter, but were gone.

Words would not suffice for what she had just seen. "Oh... _wow_..." was all Kerry could say. She stroked the comforter where the wings had just been.

Another second and she realized that several car alarms were going off in the parking lot. They sounded very close.

All of the windows in the room had been shattered.

"Holy _shit_, Cas. When you cum, you - "

The door opened suddenly and in stepped Sam, a look of great concern on his face. "Kerry, what happ - WHOA!" He recoiled and covered his eyes. "Oh God... ohhhh God... what did I just see?"

At the same moment, that high that Kerry had been looking for when she began seducing Castiel in the first place overtook her. The feeling of perfect peace was back, and it was accompanied by a giddy feeling of happiness quite unlike anything she'd felt before. While Castiel just looked at Sam, having no idea what to say, Kerry grinned at her brother stupidly and spoke for both of them.

"Hi Sammy," she slurred. "We were, just, uh... yeah, that's it."

Chapter 2: Three Little Fishies

**Word Count this Chapter:** 1,483

Kerry tried her hardest to walk a straight line out to the Impala, but it was difficult. What she really wanted to do with how she felt was twirl and skip and prance her way across the hotel parking lot. When she saw her brother sitting sideways in the passenger seat with the door open, legs out, his head in his hands, Kerry wanted desperately to feel guilty and sad for how he was feeling, but she was simply too high to be capable of it.

Castiel was standing near the hotel office, giving the manager the cash that Kerry had handed him. It was to pay for the broken windows. The manager agreed not to call the cops on them if they paid and left, and never came back again. Kerry figured they got off easy.

She tried to dim her dreamworld smile as she approached Sam and stroked his hair. "It's okay, Sammy. Come on, pull it together. Time to get your bag so we can go."

He barely looked up; somehow, Sam couldn't lay eyes on her yet. "Kerry, what the hell are you doing?"

"Getting us out of here before this dude calls the cops."

"You know what I mean." Taking a deep breath, he finally said it. "Why did you and Castiel... I mean, what are you _doing_, Kerry?"

She didn't want to explain this, but knew it would be inevitable after he'd caught them in the act. "Sam... it's been a long day."

He scoffed. "Yeah, one of those days."

"Yeah. And you know how I get sometimes. I just... I needed something to take the edge off." A too-loud giggle burst out of her. "He's a goddamn angel, Sammy. And I needed something..." That giggle again, sounding almost hysterical this time. "...something incredible."

Sam sniffled. "So you did it for a high."

"Yeah... I guess you could put it that way."

For a second, he just breathed a little too heavily and then slammed his fist against the side of the door. "God, Kerry, how could you even think of such a thing when Dean's in the hospital? You're so damn selfish!" Something rippled across his face, a guilty look, a realization, and he put his head in his hands again. "Damn it, I'm such a hypocrite."

Confused, Kerry crouched down in front of her brother. "Sam, what are you talking about?" It didn't even occur to her that earlier in the day, he had sent her out for Cokes for the road right after Ruby had done the spell to find Dean, that Ruby had left with a big Band-Aid on her arm; how had she even gotten injured? Kerry's mind had been too focused on the angels taking Dean away, and what condition he would be in when they found him.

"Nothing." He tried to wave off the question. "Just, forget it."

Kerry tried to pull his hands away from his face, but Castiel walked over and interrupted them, standing there silently, watching. Sam looked up at his approach and instantly scowled. The look on his face became almost homicidal in its intensity.

She looked up too, and realized why Sam was glaring at Castiel that way. His fly was unzipped, his shirttail poking out through the slit. Kerry, clearing her throat, nodded her head in the direction of his crotch. Castiel looked. "Oh... um." He turned away to tuck his shirt back in and zip himself up. When he turned back around, Sam was still glaring at him.

"Cas, maybe you better... go over there for a bit," she suggested.

"Oh. Yes." Castiel pointed off in an arbitrary direction. "Over there." He walked away.

With a sigh, Kerry tried to apologize for her behavior. "Sam, I'm sorry. I know what I did was selfish. I needed something to get me through, but I'm still here for you and Dean, okay?" She took hold of his wrists and gave them a light shake. "Okay?"

"Just, forget it. Whatever you did, it's all just part of this fucked up day."

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Sam took his hands away from his face. He had begun to cry. "It's not you, Kerry. It's just so hard to see Dean like that."

"Oh, Sammy... scoot over, okay?"

He scooted into the car, halfway across the seat so Kerry could climb in. She put her arms around him and patted his back. Sam clung to her just like he used to when they were much younger and he'd skinned his knees, and Dad wouldn't comfort him because he saw it as coddling. Dean would bring the big Band-Aids and Kerry would fuss over their little brother, kissing his tears away. Sam had always been the most sensitive of the three.

"I haven't seen him so weak in a long, long time," Sam sobbed. She kissed the side of his head, saying soothing things. "It's weird to see Dean that helpless and hurt. He was trying so hard to be strong while I was there, but he needed to use the bathroom, you know, and he couldn't get up on his own. The nurses had to bring him one of those plastic pee bottles." Sam ran a hand through his hair. "I hate seeing him like that."

"I know, Sammy. Alistair really fucked him up. But Dean'll be okay." Kerry began to rock him a bit. "He got out of it alive, and now Dean will heal and be back on his feet before we know it. He'll be the same old toughass that he always is."

"I know. I know you're right. But I felt so bad leaving him alone. What if he wakes up in the middle of the night and no one's there?"

"Well, I tell you what we do." Kerry kissed his head again. "We have ourselves a good cry, and then we pull ourselves together and we go back to the hospital to stay overnight with Dean."

"But it's past visiting hours."

"Then we get Castiel to zap us right into the hospital room. If they ask us to leave, we just refuse, 'cause our brother needs us. The nurses should appreciate that they have some help taking care of such a whinypuss."

Laughing through his tears, Sam agreed. "Yeah, he can be like that sometimes, just to get attention from the pretty ones."

"That's our Dean." Now she laughed, rocking him some more. "This may be hard to believe, but there was a time when you were smaller than me. You remember how Dad would get us to sing in the car on long trips, and back then there weren't any seatbelt laws, or at least they didn't enforce 'em yet, so you'd sit in my lap and I'd rock you just like this?"

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"You were like a baby doll to me. My little Sammy. And Dad would get us to sing to entertain us 'cause, you know, three little kids in a car is like torture if you don't keep them happy."

"I remember. Especially you dressing me in Dad and Dean's clothes and making me play House," Sam laughed, sniffling.

"Yeah," she giggled. "Floppy sleeves, too long for your arms." Now they laughed together. "You know what my favorite car song was? Three Little Fishies."

"Oh yeah, and we changed the lyrics 'cause it was all about a mama fish and her three babies and we only had a daddy fish."

That particular memory held some sadness, but Kerry just continued, glad that she was still too high to really feel it. "Down in the meadow in a little bitty pool swam three little fishies and a daddy fishie too. 'Swim,' said the daddy fishie, 'Swim if you can,' and they swam and they swam all over the dam."

They sang the ridiculous chorus together. "Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! And they swam and they swam all over the dam."

Sam didn't even realize that he had stopped crying.

Cautiously, Castiel moved back toward the car, curious to know what they were doing. When he heard them singing a child's song together, the angel was touched, as he had been many times before, by this family's resilience through their love for each other. Somehow, he felt he'd become a part of that. Castiel even memorized the words to the silly little song they were singing.

"'Stop,' said the daddy fishie, 'or you will get lost!' The three little fishies didn't wanna be bossed. The three little fishies went off on a spree, and they swam and they swam right out to the sea. Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! And they swam and they swam right out to the sea."

Chapter 3: Boom

**Word Count this Chapter:** 2,771  
**Notes:** My beta Sammie gave me a couple of the funny lines in this chapter. :D

The first time that Dean asked the question, they had pulled off at a roadside park and rest stop to stretch their legs and have some sandwiches they'd bought at a gas station. "How'd you do it, Sammy?" he said, leaning against the Impala with a dry roast beef sub in his hand.

"Do what?"

"Get me one of those packets of mayonnaise out of the cooler," Dean requested, and turned back to his brother. "Come on Sam, you know what I'm talking about."

Kerry got up off the red cooler they'd been keeping in the backseat the last few months, took off its top, and rooted around among the half-melted ice to find Dean some mayo. She thought she knew what Dean was asking about, and wasn't exactly looking forward to this conversation. And just a day after he got out of the hospital, too.

"I'm sorry, I don't." While she was up, Sam pointed to the yellow plastic bottle just to the left of where she was digging. "Would you hand me the mustard, Kerry?"

She made a, "Yup," sound, tossing Sam the mustard, and then pegging a packet of mayonnaise in Dean's direction before putting the lid back on and sitting once again on the cooler to eat her own ham and cheese.

"Alright, Sam, fine. I'll just come out and ask."

Sam, hearing that angry tone in his brother's voice, snapped back, "Then come out and ask; what the hell is it?"

"How did you kill Alistair?"

Silence fell over the group as Sam just stared at Dean for several tense moments, no one moving. Then Sam looked down at his sandwich, shaking up the bottle of mustard. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?" he mumbled.

"Because we've never seen you do it before," replied Dean, and waited for an answer. When Sam continued to just shake up the mustard and then opened it, squirting some between the bread and the meat, Dean sighed and looked at the packet he'd caught without even thinking about it. "Kerr-Bear, this is tartar sauce from Long John Silver's."

"Oh, sorry. They're both white." Happy for the distraction, Kerry got up and began to root around in the cooler again.

Finally, Sam tried to answer, but took a bite of his sandwich first so he'd be chewing while talking. Anything for it to seem more casual. "Dean, I don't really know how I did it. These powers that Yellow Eyes gave me, they've just been evolving, you know? Maybe it was an anger thing, like, I was so mad to see what Alistair had done to you that I just... exploded."

"Oh, is that what happened?" By his tone, both Sam and Kerry could tell that Dean wasn't buying it. Dean paused long enough to take a packet of mayo from her hand. "That doesn't really go along with what you said that day, though."

There was a slight pause as Sam popped the top off a bottle of beer; his mouth twitched in an annoyed way.

Dean continued. "You said to Alistair, 'I'm stronger than that now. Now I can kill.' Like you were fully aware of what you could do with these powers before you even got there. Like you'd done something to bring about a change."

With a grunt of acknowledgement, Sam said, "Castiel told you that, right?"

"Yup."

"Well did you ever think that Castiel may be wrong in how I meant it? I did say that, yeah, but what I meant was that once I got there, I could feel so much power coursing through me that I knew I'd be able to kill Alistair." Sam took a swig off the beer bottle. "I don't know anything more about how these powers work than anyone else, Dean. If I did, I'd have more control over them."

For a few seconds, Dean pretended to think it over, chewing on a bite of sandwich. Then he shot back, "That's not what Cas thinks, and not what I think, either."

"Oh, really?"

Cringing at the impending argument, Kerry tried not to make eye contact with anyone and ate her own sandwich.

Angry, Sam added, "So you trust your precious little Castiel more than your own brother?"

It was what Dean said next that made everything that followed inevitable. "He's not the one who lies to me, you are."

Kerry had seen that look on Sam's face many times, the angry, almost betrayed look with the frowny mouth and the narrowed, burning eyes and the twitchy upper lip. Couldn't they just have a nice, normal lunch by the side of the road? She should have expected what Sam said next, but somehow, it was a complete surprise. "Did you ever think that maybe you shouldn't put so much trust in Castiel? Maybe he's got some nasty secrets of his own that you wouldn't like."

"I'm sure he does, but that's beside the point - "

"No, I mean some _nasty_ secrets that I _know_ he'd never tell you." Sam looked right at Kerry.

She froze, eyes wide. Now Dean was looking at her too, the wondering in his eyes, a searching look that tried to flush out the truth. Dean knew that Sam was just trying to take the heat off himself, but then why did Kerry react that way? "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, you guys, stop fighting," Kerry said, and glared at Sam.

Just being a typical little brother, Sam grinned and continued to tattle on her. "Hey, when we're done here, why don't we go back to the Hunzinger Motel and stay the night?"

Kerry's eyes widened again.

"Hey yeah, I love that place. Vibrating beds," Dean said. He knew that somehow, agreeing with Sam here would somehow get him to the truth.

"Right. So let's stay the night there."

Having nothing else to throw, Kerry angrily pulled off her shoe and threw it at Sam's head. He moved so it only bounced off his shoulder. "Shut up, Sam!"

"Okay, now there's something going on with you, too," Dean remarked, turning toward his sister. "Did something happen at the Hunzinger Motel?"

"We just can't stay there, that's all." Deliberately, she took a large bite of her sandwich so her mouth would be full of food.

"And why is that?"

Kerry pointed to her full, chewing mouth and shrugged. She didn't think that Sam would take the opportunity to answer for her.

"We kinda wore out our welcome there when Castiel broke every window in the room."

Her eyebrows furrowed, Kerry took off the other shoe, held it up, waited for Sam to duck, and then pegged it right at his ducked face, hitting him square in the middle of his forehead. He cried, "Ow!" and rubbed the spot while she ranted at him unintelligibly and gestured in anger with her hands.

"Okay..." Dean looked from Kerry to Sam, giving her some time to chew. "How did that happen?"

When Sam opened his mouth, Kerry picked up her bottle of soda and threatened to throw that too, rearing back and frowning at him. He promptly closed his mouth and pretended to lock it with a little key. "Are you happy with yourself?" she asked him once she'd swallowed enough to speak. Sam just shrugged. Kerry quickly chewed the rest and swallowed it all, a hand to her chest. "Oh, that piece was too big. It hurt goin' down," she rasped.

"Is that what Cas said?" Sam asked.

Kerry nearly exploded on him. "Sammy, I swear, I'm gonna brain you! That didn't even make sense, you - "

"Hey!" Dean bellowed. It got her attention. "Would you just tell me what happened so I can get back to reaming Sammy a new asshole?" he requested.

"Well... you know how when you hadn't met Castiel yet, he was trying to communicate with you using his natural voice, and it broke out all the windows? It was like that," Kerry said. Then she looked away, knowing this wouldn't be enough explanation, but stopping anyway.

Dean obviously expected more. "...And?" he finally said.

"And, that's what happened."

"Cas used his natural voice and broke out all the windows."

"Uh huh." Kerry took another large bite of sandwich.

Growing impatient, Dean swiped at the sandwich in an attempt to take it from her. She leaned over and away so he couldn't get it. "Kerry, will you just tell me why?"

She pointed at her full mouth again.

Dean looked at Sam, who got out the little key and locked up his mouth a second time.

"I'll tell you."

They all looked as Castiel stepped out of the nearby line of trees. Kerry froze, not chewing, unsure if that was a good idea.

Castiel was ready to face Dean with the truth. "It would have come out sometime," he said, and gave Kerry a reassuring look. She allowed him the floor, at first only looking at the ground and chewing what was in her mouth, but eventually looking up to see Dean's reactions to what Castiel was telling him. "The fact that I broke out all the windows was an accident, but I couldn't help it. It was unexpected."

"Cas, why were you using your natural voice?"

Castiel paused to look at Kerry, so uncomfortable and quiet, and barreled ahead. "I've never... had relations... with a human before. That's why I didn't exactly know what would happen when I... well, you know what happens when you..." He cleared his throat. "Kerry and I made love last week."

At first, Dean gave him a look like he didn't believe what he was saying, all confused and narrowed eyes. Once he realized Castiel was completely serious, Dean's eyes widened to shocked proportions and, presumably by reflex, he punched Castiel in the stomach. Kerry gasped, and Sam cringed, but both weren't thinking about the fact that their brother had just gut punched an angel. Castiel did not double over; in fact, he hardly moved in any way. Instead, Dean was the one who doubled over, holding his fist and wincing, as if he'd hit a brick wall. "Fuck," he growled.

"Dean, are you okay?" Sam asked. That was always his brother's way - punch first, realize angels are too tough to punch later.

"Physically," he replied, and straightened up, trying to regain his dignity. "Cas, what the hell? You _had sex_ with my sister? My little sister? What - what are you - how - _why_?"

"Leave him alone, Dean," Kerry insisted. "I seduced him."

"You - you seduced Castiel? You... _seduced_... Castiel?"

"Yeah."

Speechless, Dean looked between the two of them for several moments. He eventually found his voice again, and repeated, "_Why?_"

"I just... wanted to?" Kerry said. She had no desire to go into all of her reasons. "I know you see him as our doofy little angel friend, but he's a really attractive guy, Dean."

"You... had _sex_... with an _angel_... because he's a really attractive guy?"

"Yeah?"

Neither Sam nor Castiel filled in the other reasons why Kerry did it. Sam, because he now felt a bit guilty for bringing it up in the first place, and Castiel because he understood that there were some things humans kept secret to spare their families the truth.

Still reeling from this news, Dean said, "Are you crazy? First off, you had no idea what would happen. He's a freaking angel, Kerry. Second, did you ever think that this could just complicate the work that we do with Cas? I mean, you couldn't find yourself someone else?"

"Dean, I am not a kid. I can make my own decisions and take my own chances. And you know what else? You are the biggest hypocrite ever. Have you forgotten about Anna?"

"Yeah, well, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you having sex with freakin' _Castiel!_"

Kerry rolled her eyes. "Jesus, what's the big deal?" she mumbled.

"The big deal? Kerry, he's like a _child_. It's not fair to seduce him; he hardly understands how it even works."

Castiel cut in. "I am not a child."

"Yeah." Kerry reached out and took his hand for a moment. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Dean glared until his sister let go of Castiel's hand. "Okay, no details please!" he suddenly said, pacing the length of the car.

"Oh, but you wanted to know what happened, Dean." Getting up, Kerry followed him, trying to turn him to face her. "You asked how the windows got broken, right? Cas using his real voice? Now why do you think that happened?"

Dean just stared at her for a moment. "Oh, I don't want to hear this." He stuck his fingers in his ears.

"Yes you do, you said you wanted to know." She yanked on his arms, but they both knew he could still hear her. "Did I tell you how _great_ Castiel was in bed?"

"Ohhhh fuck! LA LA LA LA, I do not hear Kerry, LA LA LA LA LA!"

"Quit yelling so I can tell you how filthy Castiel kisses!"

"Mary had a little lamb little lamb little lamb!" Dean bellowed.

Before she said too much more, Castiel stepped in, waving a hand back and forth. "Kerry, no no, don't. He doesn't need to hear all that."

"But he thinks you're some kind of simpleton, Cas. That you have no idea how sex works with a human."

"Oh. Well, I admit I wasn't very experienced, but I knew enough to - "

"Cas, stop," Dean grumbled, turning away.

"I'm just trying to tell you that I handled everything alright except for the etiquette on when a man should climax," Castiel explained, trying to be helpful.

"Oh, oh, oh," Sam groaned, covering his ears.

"You see, that's what blew the windows out. But I should have just done it sooner, before I got that aroused," the angel continued.

"Oh my God, Cas, shut up!" Dean protested.

Castiel didn't fully understand why they were getting so upset. Or did he? "What's the matter? You said you wanted to know what happened." He winked. "But now that I think about it, it probably would have blown out the windows anyway."

Kerry grinned mischievously.

"Uh... okay." Dean gave him a light pat on the shoulder. "You've told me. Now can you please _stop?_"

"Wait a minute..." Kerry began. "Cas, what do you mean, etiquette on when a man should climax? Are you saying that you could have had an orgasm at any time?"

Sam mumbled, "Ohhh God..."

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying," Castiel replied.

"So, I went through an hour of giving you head until my tongue was like sandpaper and nearly another hour of sex until my legs felt like they were going to fall off and the whole time, you could have cum _at will?_"

"Oh, somebody kill me now," Sam pleaded.

Castiel nodded, bewildered. "Yes."

Throwing up her hands, Kerry groaned loudly. "I kept asking why it was taking you so long, and... Cas!"

Confirming the fact that he was no simpleton, the angel added, "As I recall, you weren't complaining _that_ much, Kerry." He smiled coyly at her.

She huffed, not sure if she should be proud of him or mad at him.

"...just shoot me right now, get one of the guns out of the trunk and..." Sam put a finger gun against his temple and pulled the trigger.

A chuckle began to build in Dean's throat, something not even he expected. By the time the others realized what they were hearing, it had built into a full-fledged, hearty laugh. "You can do that, Castiel? Going at it for hours and then out of nowhere, she complains and you just go, 'Oh, my bad.' BOOM! Is that how it happened?"

Even Sam had to chuckle loudly at how he put it.

Castiel tilted his head. "Boom?"

That sent Kerry over the edge. She burst out with a snickery giggle. Within seconds, they were all collapsing into helpless laughter, Sam even falling off the bench he'd been sitting on and rolling on the ground.

"Can you imagine if you were out in the parking lot when that happened?" Dean said between snort-filled laughs. "Just gotta get something from my car... BOOOOM! Ahhhhh, what was that? Sounded like an angel getting off!"

Sam snickered back, "I only missed it by maybe a minute!"

All were laughing except Castiel, who just looked at them and shook his head, a small smile on his face. "You are all amused by the strangest things."


	2. Chp 4 thru 6

**Tuck Those Ribbons Under Your Helmet, Chps 4-6**  
A _Supernatural_ Fic  
by Laurel (Sailorhathor)

**Rating:** Adult17+  
**Pairings:** Winsister/Castiel, Winsister/Ruby, Winsister/Dean, Winsister/Sam, Winsister/Adam (in a dream), Sam/Castiel/Dean  
**Dates:** Written September 2010  
**Word Count:** 35,896  
**Summary:** Winsister AU. The hunting life isn't easy on anyone. For Kerry Winchester, it may be too much. The worst, though, was being in love with a multi-dimensional wavelength that may not ever love her back.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for most of season 4 and the first few episodes of season 5. Incest, Het, Femmeslash, and Slash. Sex venom (similar to sex pollen), dub-con, brief non-con, fisting, sex toys, vanilla bondage, use of the Bible in a way that some would probably consider blasphemy, simulated scarfing, and mention of underage Wincest. This is not the "nice" Ruby from season 4, but Ruby with her season 3 personality, and then some. She is very much a demon. In fact, I imagine the Ruby in this story looking like Katie Cassidy all the way through.  
**Beta Thanks:** Thanks as always to Sammie for the wonderful beta!  
**Author's Notes:** Title comes from the Tori Amos song "Mother." Abridged version of a longer story (which I'll eventually write out to the end).

Chapter 4: Inventory

**Word Count this Chapter:** 2,224

Sam got lucky there, at least for a little while. For the time being, Dean left it alone - how Sam got strong enough to kill Alistair, what he'd been doing with Ruby, all that. He would ask those questions again, but not for some time.

There was little aftermath to the Kerry/Castiel debacle. When Kerry picked up her shoes, she punched her brother Sam in the arm on the way by, as hard as she could. He petulantly replied, "Didn't even hurt!" And that was that between them. For his own part, Dean poked Castiel in the chest later that day and told him never to hurt his sister, or he'd find a way to give him a good beating. Castiel just looked at him, befuddled, and agreed that he would never deliberately hurt her.

Shortly after, Kerry realized that she wanted to feel everything she'd felt that night again. The euphoria had been nice, but it was the things specifically linked to Castiel that she wanted to experience once more. The solid feeling of him beneath her, seeing ecstasy on his face, the way he kissed, those wonderfully needy sounds he made, and especially the downy softness of his wings under her fingers. She couldn't stop picturing those six blue eyes looking back at her. Everything that made Castiel special, it engulfed her mind until she couldn't stop thinking about him. Craving him. His stamina had been a nice bonus, of course, but what Kerry really wanted to feel again was the closeness, the connection.

As Castiel called it, the "merging."

A month after Dean got out of the hospital, Kerry waited until she could corner Castiel alone, backing him up against a wall with her hands on either side of him. He just looked at her quizzically. "Kerry?"

She leaned in and kissed him, hard and dirty.

He did not resist, although when she pulled away, Castiel shook his head. "No."

"What?"

"I said no."

Kerry searched his face, trying to figure out why she was getting this reaction. "Didn't you enjoy it the first time?"

"Yes, but, as you said... it's not all about me."

"If this is because of my brothers..."

"No." Castiel shook his head again. "It has nothing to do with what they think."

"Then tell me what the problem is." Kerry chased his lips with her own. He moved his head back and forth, although their lips did brush a few times. "Wouldn't it be nice to do it again? Hm?"

"Yes, it would be very nice," he replied matter-of-factly.

"Then why not?" Managing to catch him, she kissed him once more, long and passionate. At first, Castiel kissed back as he had before, but when Kerry slipped her arms inside his trench coat and hugged him to her body, he took hold of her forearms and pushed her away, gently. "Cas, I can't stop thinking about you. About what it was like to touch you and how you felt inside me," Kerry whispered.

His eyes rolled up for a moment, and he sighed. "Please don't make this harder for me."

"What's the matter?"

Castiel firmly moved her away from his body until Kerry could see his eyes straight on, making sure he had her full attention. "Kerry, I'm sorry, but this is not my body. The vessel is angry. He doesn't want to have sex with you again."

That was certainly the last thing she ever expected him to say. "The... vessel? Why not?"

"Because he's married."

"Oh..." It took her a moment to fully grasp what he was saying. "The man you're possessing looks at it as adultery."

Castiel nodded.

"Oh. Well... but... I didn't make love to him, Castiel." Kerry played with the lapels of his trench coat, running them through her fingers. "I made love to you."

"But it's his body."

She didn't know what to say, what would convince him that this was all right. "Can I talk to your vessel?"

He realized that she wasn't going to give up. "Kerry, I need you to understand - "

"Let me talk to the vessel," she insisted. The tone of her voice was almost dangerous, the tone of someone who just couldn't take no for an answer.

With a weary sigh, Castiel said, "No," and disappeared.

The wind of his wings blowing her hair back, Kerry could only look after his retreat and bite her bottom lip.

Dean found her sitting in their latest hotel room a few hours later, bent over The Bible. When he came in, she was marking a page with a yellow sticky note. "What are you doing?"

"Gathering ammunition," she replied.

"Ammunition? What?"

"Don't worry about it." Kerry waved him off.

Time went by and eventually, the book had been marked all through its pages with this "ammunition." Throughout the project, the memory of making love to Castiel never faded, only got stronger.

Things came to a head after they found out about the existence of Adam.

Adam had been John Winchester's secret child. A boy fathered with a nurse from Minnesota, nineteen years before. Their half-brother.

It was a secret he had taken to his grave.

And now Adam was dead too. Targeted by a couple of ghouls from a past hunt, his internal organs devoured. One of them had worn Adam's face and tricked the siblings into believing he was their younger half-brother in an attempt to get to John; when the creatures found out John was already dead, they decided killing and eating the man's other children would be sufficient revenge. It had been a close one, very close.

Now, as Sam and Kerry sat on a trunk from one of John's storage lockers in Minnesota, looking at photographs and crying, Dean tried to take the inventory on his own. They hadn't been in this locker for several years; an occasional inventory was a sensible idea. It was also a good way for Dean to channel his rage at almost losing Sam to the ghouls, for all the things he simply couldn't help about how this one had gone.

He now dusted his hands off on his jeans and looked at his siblings again, looked at the bandages on Sam's arms where the ghouls had sliced them open and tried to drain his blood, and he wanted to scream. How dare those monsters try to _eat_ his brother, how dare they take Sammy so close to death (the bowls of blood next to the table, how full they had become), how dare the hunting life take the lives of Adam and his mother even after John had tried so hard to spare them that danger, how dare this, how dare that, how dare fate.

How dare these things make his sister and brother cry like that for a sibling they never knew.

They were looking through the photographs they'd found in Adam's house and blubbering like children, photos of Adam and John and Adam's mother Kate. Laughing and sobbing and, Dean surmised, wishing they could have been a part of every one of those beautiful memories. Soon, they'd start in on the albums of Adam's school pictures and birthday parties and just have themselves a good ol' blubber party all night. "Did you two ever think that maybe Adam has some other family somewhere who might want those pictures?" Dean asked.

"We just want copies," Kerry said, wiping at her nose with her sleeve.

Dean got them a box of tissues out of the car. "Here."

Sam took the box, then winced at the sudden movement of his arm. Dean tried not to notice it. That hurt worst of all, knowing just how much damage those ghouls had done to his little brother before Dean had managed to escape the crypt and stop it all.

Kerry handed Sam a picture, sniffling. "Another fishing trip. Look at Dad with that big fish. Why didn't he ever take us fishing?"

"Probably thought it was a waste of time," Sam commented, his voice bitter.

The photo set Kerry off again; she sobbed harder. "Oh, why didn't he tell us about Adam? Didn't he think we'd want to meet him? He was our brother."

"I told you, Kerr, he was trying to protect him," Dean said. "Dad knew that if we ever came around that it could drag Adam and his mom into something just like this, and he was right."

She looked up, her face full of anger and pain. "Then why did he allow himself the luxury of actually getting to know Adam and spending time with him? If Dad was going to do that, why didn't he take us along?"

"It was selfish of him not to tell us," Sam added, and wiped a fingerprint off the photo by rubbing it against his jeans. "We had a right to know."

"Okay, yeah, that part was selfish," Dean allowed. "I don't know why he spent time with him if he was trying to keep Adam out of this life that he chose for us. I don't know, okay?" Leaning against the side of the storage locker, he thought it over, picking at a loose button on his coat. "I guess Dad just... saw it as a chance to have a normal, humdrum relationship with one of his kids. Something he could never have with us."

"Why not?"

"Because Adam still had a mother!" Dean snapped back, louder than he intended. He took a moment to get better control of his emotions. "Adam had someone to live with, someone to take care of him. Dad could leave knowing that there was someone there to give his kid a normal life. So he takes his little vacations and he plays family every once in a while, and... I don't know why we couldn't be a part of that, if Dad was going to do it. I don't know why."

Kerry said nothing back just yet. Sam took it as a cue to add something that he'd noticed. "She had blonde hair," he remarked, looking at a picture of Kate Milligan. "She kinda looks like Mom."

"Maybe if Dad had married her, we all could have lived there and been a family," Kerry said.

Dean scoffed. "Now you're just dreamin'."

Kerry's emotions were raw and jagged as she wept, "Maybe if we'd known Adam, the real Adam, he would have called us when he came home and found his mother gone. Maybe we could have been there before the ghouls got him!"

"Stop doing this shit to yourself, Kerry! You could 'what if' yourself to death and it wouldn't change a thing."

But she didn't stop; she couldn't, not yet. Kerry's voice got small and began to break with heavy sobs. "What if he came home and those ghouls attacked him right there, and he was screaming and crying for someone to help him, and no one ever came?"

"Oh, Kerry..." Dean knelt before her, rubbing her arms through her sleeves. "Stop thinking about it."

"They ate out... his insides... and it started while he was still... alive," she sobbed, looking at Sam's bandaged arms.

Dean winced against those words, knowing full well that they were true. "God, Kerry... you gotta stop thinking about it." When he noticed that Sam was beginning to weep at the horrible realization as well, Dean put one arm around each sibling and hugged them to his shoulders. "Just cry it out. Come on. You get to be the blubber twins today."

They both took advantage of their big brother's offer.

Later that day, Dean was still intent on doing a full inventory of the contents of the storage locker, and as Kerry had calmed down enough to help him, she did. Anything to get her mind off those horrible mental pictures of the boy who should have been the baby of the family being tackled and restrained by those monsters, screaming, crying, begging for someone to save him. Sam still sat outside on one of the trunks, told to stay there and rest and to take his iron supplements.

"What about that shelf?" Dean asked. He wrote something down on the inventory sheets he'd spent half the night numbering.

Kerry looked at a shelf on one of the metal racks that Dean had numbered 89. On it was two boxes sealed with mystic symbols, a set of Tarot cards wrapped in silk, and six miscellaneous containers of liquid. She told him about the boxes and the Tarot cards, and then added, "Some bottles of stuff."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Could you be a little more specific?"

The first two bottles were holy water. The third was a vial of what looked like lizard eyes, the fourth and fifth were labeled "Aglaophotis," and the last had "Incubus Spirit" written down its length.

Incubus Spirit? What could that be?

"Earth to Kerry. What's in those bottles?"

"Oh, uh... two bottles of holy water, a vial of lizard eyes, and two jars of Aglaophotis."

"Crap. Dad's got some dangerous shit in here," Dean remarked, and just stared at the paper for a moment. "How do you spell Aglaophotis?"

Kerry spelled it out for him, an innocent smile on her face and her hand occasionally stealing to the little vial she now had hidden in her pocket.

Chapter 5: Cause and Effect

**Word Count this Chapter:** 3,336

Sitting in the hotel's bathroom, Kerry looked at the vial in her hands and wondered if what she wanted to do with it was in any way right.

She needed that connection with Castiel. Needed it so bad, it hurt her heart. If he would only come and just hold her... but she doubted he would even do that. The vessel. That damn _vessel_.

The horrible pictures played through her head relentlessly, on a never-ending loop. Nothing Kerry did would make them stop. Nothing quieted the ache in her chest when she thought of Adam and all the weapons they had, all the guns and knives and the pure _arsenal_ they formed, and all they would have needed was a little more time. Dean insisted that Adam must've been dead for days when they came along, but those horrible pictures played through her head anyway, of missing his death by mere seconds, even though she knew it wasn't possible.

The main reason for her torment being that just because they didn't know about Adam... didn't mean that he never knew about _them_.

Sitting on the closed toilet with her eyes closed, Kerry gripped the vial tightly in her fingers as her mind tortured her with possibilities, questions to which she would never know the answers. An imagined conversation played itself out in her head.

_"Adam, you're old enough for me to tell you now. You have two brothers and a sister, and I know they are going to want to meet you."_

"Really? What are their names?"

"Dean, Kerry, and Sam. Here's their picture."

"They kinda look like me."

"I know! Next year, maybe we can all go out to the lake and you can meet them."

"That sounds great, Dad!"

Next year, next year. It never came.

Sam knocked at the door. "What'd you do, Kerry, fall in?"

"Sorry. I'll be out in a minute."

For the rest of the night, she obsessed over somehow getting to see inside Adam's wallet, to see if he had a picture of his siblings tucked away somewhere. What had been on his mind while those ghouls were killing him? Was it just his mother... or his other family too?

Did he spend that time wondering why they didn't come save him?

Two days of holding the vial in secret and going through the Milligan family photo albums and Kerry had almost convinced herself that Adam did know about them, even though the albums contained no evidence of it. She wanted to get away, run away, _run away_, so she suggested they go spend some downtime at Bobby's.

On the way there, the nightmares started.

In the Impala, laid out on the backseat with a blanket draped over her, Kerry dreamed of Adam coming home and being ambushed by those ghouls.

He struggles, he claws at the floor, he strains to drag himself away, but they are stronger than him. One wears the face of his mother. Light glints off a knife and Adam cringes in pain. The ghouls begin to lick up his blood.

She runs into the house in slow motion. Adam reaches out his hand.

"Kerry!" he screams. She can see his eyes, huge and fearful.

Kerry takes hold of his hand, but it's like he's rooted to the floor, and no matter how hard she pulls, he cannot be freed. The ghouls slowly cut open his gut while he screams in pain. She can do nothing but watch.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there!" Kerry cries, and a ghoul smiles at her with its bloody teeth, biting into Adam's intestines.

"Missed him by _that_ much," the ghoul laughs.

Kerry awoke with a loud gasp, halfway sitting up and clutching the blanket hard in her fist. It startled both of her brothers.

By the time they got to Bobby's, Bobby was gone, called out of state on something involving one of his oldest friends. "I should be back in a couple days," he told Dean by phone.

They found that Bobby had finally cleaned out one of his junk rooms and made a guest room for them, with two beds and a lounging chair. Two days to themselves and plenty of house to knock around in. Kerry decided that it was time to use the vial, one way or another.

Again, she found herself hiding in a bathroom, looking at the vial marked Incubus Spirit. Could it be what it seemed to be? Was it the actual spirit of an incubus, its essence, or incubus ejaculatory fluid? Either way, the effect should be sexual in nature.

_"An incubus is a demon able to induce sexual desires so intense that people can be driven mad by them."_ That's how the creatures were defined in Dad's journal. _"Reports indicate that only an incubus can satisfy the arousal brought about by their presence."_

Only an incubus... or an angel, Kerry thought. An angel had to be able to satisfy it too.

She had abandoned the idea of slipping the purple liquid to Castiel. It was a dark thought that had only fleeted across her mind for a moment. No, that would be very wrong, and might actually hurt him. But... perhaps if she drank it... it was such a little bit, it couldn't be harmful to a human. Kerry figured that it would make her feel sexy, engulfing her mind with only sexual thoughts, and maybe if she could get Castiel to answer her calls for him, just being around her would change his mind.

_This is stupid,_ her mind yelled back at her. _Stupid and pathetic. Unthinking, desperate little idiot!_

Yes, Kerry knew it was a sad, last ditch effort to get Castiel to make love to her again. And she also knew that her brothers would be angry and very critical of her decision when they found out about it, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Adam reaching for her with those huge, frightened eyes, and she just felt so damn inadequate.

Useless! All their weapons and training and for what? _What?_

Kerry held the open vial against her lips, knowing that once she drank of it, there would be no turning back.

Breathe. Just breathe.

Did she really know what would happen once she did it? Did she really?

_"Missed him by that much."_

Tipping her head back, Kerry drank down the contents of the vial, every last drop.

She was surprised to find that the stuff had a vanilla flavor to it, with a slightly bitter aftertaste.

For a minute, she stayed in the bathroom, just waiting to see what would happen. Then she began to plan how she would do this, depending on where Sam and Dean were right then. If they were still in the living room, Kerry thought she could -

It hit her all at once.

A wave of arousal burned up her spine and filled the space between her legs with an overwhelming, tingling heat, like the sparks caused by the sight of Castiel with an intense look on his face. Kerry began to obsess over the memory of how his fingers felt as they grasped her hips. It was almost like she could feel them right now.

Damn, but the effects of this stuff were good!

She smiled, running a hand along her stomach, when another wave hit her so hard that she moaned out loud.

Kerry slapped her hands over her mouth. The sound that came out of her was so loud and out of her control that her brothers must've heard, if they were anywhere nearby. No one shifted outside the door. She was about to sigh in relief when the arousal burned through her again, making her nipples instantly hard. Kerry mewled.

Within another minute, she could feel that she was very wet between the legs. The sparks of sexual excitement wouldn't stop coming. Kerry began to undulate on the seat, just feeling the lips of her pussy slide together and picturing Castiel in various stages of undress. She spread her legs, yearning for him to come to her, to touch her, to put himself inside her. "Castiel..." she moaned.

Only two minutes had passed since Kerry drank the vial dry, and she already had a strong urge to masturbate, although she preferred that Castiel do it, that he slide his fingers inside her. A few seconds later and she couldn't help it. Kerry's nipples were so hard they hurt. The pain began to grow, a very unpleasant pinching sensation that turned to burning, intense burning. She rubbed her hand over one nipple and then the other through her shirt.

It wasn't enough.

Shortly after, she was a porn watcher's wet dream, like a girl in a _Playboy_ spread. Kerry's shirt pulled up over her chest, exposing her breasts, one hand rubbing and fondling her rock hard nipples, and her jeans fully open, her other hand down her panties and going to town. Kerry panted as she stroked her clit to sloppy wetness, dividing her time between that and putting her fingers up her channel. But there just weren't enough hands on her. She wanted hands all over her body, touching, stroking, fondling, fucking, everything at once.

Spreading her legs wider, Kerry bucked down on her fingers, now fucking herself and thumbing her clit. Her tits shook with every thrust. She panted down at the floor and hoped she would have enough juice left to fuck Castiel next. If he actually came.

But she couldn't seem to satisfy herself.

If anything, Kerry's sexual excitement seemed to only grow with every stroke. No matter how fast and hard she fingered herself or rubbed her clit, she couldn't cum.

"This isn't enough," she said out loud. "Castiel... Castiel? Can you hear me?" _Pant, pant_. "Please answer me."

He did not answer.

Another minute and mercifully, gratefully, she climaxed. Kerry breathed out a laugh of relief. This wasn't going to get out of her control.

The relief didn't last long. Only a few seconds and she was aroused again.

"Oh God, what have I done?" Kerry said out loud.

As she looked around the bathroom for something to fuck herself with, she prayed that this would end with every second that ticked past.

Sam and Dean looked at each other uneasily at the noises their sister was making from the bathroom, and how loud they were. "She knows we're just a few rooms away," Dean remarked.

"Do you think... she and Castiel...?" Sam looked toward the hallway, leaning over so he could see better.

"Are you sure you want to see anything if she is with Cas again?" Dean asked.

Sam frowned. "No, but..."

Kerry let out a sound that was somewhere between moan and scream.

"Dean, something's not right."

In a few seconds, they were at the door, knocking, trying the knob. "Kerry, are you okay?"

"Help... help me!" she panted.

"The door's locked. What's the matter?"

"I'm sorry, Dean... Sam... I shouldn't have done it. I just didn't know..."

"Kerry, do we need to kick the door down?" Sam took a few steps back, readying himself. "What the hell's going on?"

"Just... give me a second... just a second." They heard something fall to the floor.

"You're scaring me, Kerr. Open the door!" Dean commanded, ramming his shoulder into the door once. Sam followed that up by kicking it.

"Stop!" she begged. "I promise, just a second."

"What are you doing?" Sam asked. Both brothers were worried and starting to get annoyed at not knowing what was happening.

When she opened the door, Kerry's shirt had been pulled down, her pants pulled up, but not fastened. Her face was red and sweaty and her whole body was shaking. "I'm sorry," was the first thing she said.

"Sorry for what?" Dean looked past her into the bathroom. There were no signs of anything being amiss. Kerry's curling iron now lay on the floor, but that was it.

"I, um, I... I don't even know how to explain this." Kerry swiped her sweaty hair off her forehead. "I know you won't understand why I did it, but, uh..." She stood there panting. A hand stole to her stomach, rubbing absently under the waistband of her jeans. "I'm in real trouble here."

"Kerry, what - "

Suddenly she pitched forward, doubled over Sam's arm; he winced a little because his injuries weren't fully healed. Kerry held her lower torso near her crotch. "Oh damn... oh God, oh God, oh God, now it hurts! It hurts so much!"

"What hurts? What did you do?" Dean yelled.

Sam tried to cradle her against his chest, but she danced erratically on her feet as she dug in her pocket. When she brought the vial out and held it up, the fingers holding it were shaking so badly she nearly dropped it. "I'm sorry. I drank this."

Dean took the little bottle and carefully read the words their father had printed down one side. His eyes grew large, horrified. "'Incubus Spirit'? Did you get this out of Dad's storage locker?"

Kerry nodded sheepishly.

"You _drank_ this?"

She nodded again.

"Why? Why would you do a thing like that?"

"I don't know how to explain... it's pathetic, it's awful, I know. Just, please, help me. Get - " Her voice was cut off by another wave of pain. Sam had to hold her up. "Get me Castiel!"

"Castiel?"

"He can satisfy me, I know he can."

"Wait, do we even know what this is?" Dean sniffed the bottle. Although he could smell something gamey, like an animal, it told him nothing; whatever 'Incubus Spirit' was, he had never encountered it before. "It's causing you pain?"

"Dean, pleeeeease, get Castiel here, now. The stuff, it... it's an aphro... a..."

He noticed her undone pants. "An aphrodisiac?"

"Yeah!"

"And you can't satisfy it, can you?"

"No!" Kerry cried, near tears.

"Son of a bitch, Kerry! What were you trying to do?" Dean saw her start to collapse again, and took her from Sam, gathering her up in his arms and off her wobbly legs. "Let me, your arms are still healing. I'm gonna take her to the panic room."

"Why?"

"I don't know, maybe the effects can't reach her there."

"Dean," Sam began, "she _ingested_ it. The panic room isn't going to help."

"What else can we do?" He ran with her toward the basement. "Castiel! Castieeeeeel!"

"Castiel!" Sam called too, and followed them.

His sister groaning in discomfort the whole way, Dean rushed down the stairs with her and into the panic room. He put her on the little bed and ran back out, desperately shutting the door. Then he watched and waited.

Kerry reached for the door, beginning to cry, her free hand pressed uselessly against her lower torso.

"It's not working!" Sam said.

Dean opened the door again. "What the hell are we supposed to do?"

"The only thing... that makes it any better... is, uh... touching myself," Kerry tried to explain.

"_Oh_." This was a line of thinking neither one of her brothers wanted to entertain. After a beat of silence, they began to call, "Castieeeeel!" in unison.

Kerry nearly fell off the bed when another wave of pain hit her; this was one of the worst. Her body writhing and twisting sideways, she screamed with her head hanging over the side of the mattress. The cry eventually tapered into a wail, but the sound was enough to alarm her brothers beyond reason.

Sam knelt beside the bed and stroked her hair back off her face. "Kerry, what can we do?"

She looked up, seeing Sam and Dean there, and suddenly they were no longer her brothers. They were succulent lips and handsome faces, tight asses and hard dicks. Why did they both have to have such broad chests? "Ohhhh God... no, no, nononono..."

"Kerry?"

"Stop TOUCHING ME!" she growled. Sam's hands stilled in confusion. Kerry backed away so quickly she fell off the other side of the bed. When Sam jumped up and approached her, she slid herself along the floor and against the opposite wall, trying to will herself out of there. "Don't come near me! _Please!_"

"What's the matter?"

Seeing that wild look in her eye, Dean put out a hand to stop his brother from getting any closer. "Sam, wait - "

Sam took another step toward her and Kerry suddenly jumped up, growling like an animal, and was on him with one hand wrapped around his neck and the other grasping his crotch. Before he had time to properly react, his sister was kissing him hard on the mouth. Shocked, Sam took hold of her arms and tried to pry her off of him. Kerry massaged his cock through his jeans. The caress was so aggressive, Sam felt his knees go weak as he stumbled backward. A bolt of arousal shot up his spine.

"Holy shit," Dean said to himself. He grabbed Kerry around the waist and helped Sam pry her off of him. She writhed in his arms, howling. Dean tossed her onto the bed. "Get the hell out of here!" he yelled, and they raced for the door. Sam made it out first.

Leaping up and after them, Kerry managed to just catch the back of Dean's belt before he could get out of the room. She yanked hard in an attempt to get his pants down. Dean fought her frantically. When he pried at her fingers, she only grabbed his wrist, trying to pull him back into the room. Sam took hold of Dean's free arm and played tug o' war with Kerry over their brother. The entire time, she snarled like a wild dog in heat.

Dean finally had no choice. He kicked out at whatever he could reach with his foot, connecting with her upper thigh. It was enough to get her to let go of him. Kerry cried out in pain, collapsing to the floor. Dean also lost his balance and fell, quickly rolling out of the way of the door so Sam could slam it shut and turn the lock. A second later, Kerry was up, clawing at the little vent window and screaming in defeat.

The boys took a few moments to catch their breath and digest what had just happened. Had their sister really just tried to rape both of them?

It wasn't long before Kerry's screams dissolved into wailing sobs. "Oh God, what did I just do? I'm sorry... I'm sorry... ohhhhhh GOD!"

"Kerry, don't think about it, okay? You can't help it." Dean still had the little vial in his pocket. He got it out and read the label again. "I think this was incubus jizz."

"Fucking' hell, man..." Sam had to sit down. The arousal had been involuntary, an automatic reaction, he told himself over and over.

"Dude, we gotta get Cas here and now. She's out of her freakin' mind!"

"Incubus?" Sam thought about it a moment. "That's a type of demon."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

Ignoring the sarcasm, Sam continued in this train of thought with, "Uh... I know this isn't going to be a popular idea, but..." He sheepishly took out his cell phone. "...who would know more about a demon than another demon?"

Dean paused for an uncomfortable amount of time before he responded. "Sam, no."

"We just get Ruby to swing by so we can ask her some questions about incubi and see what ideas she has. Maybe she knows an antidote or something."

Sighing, Dean leaned against a nearby table and listened to his sister howl in pain and regret for what she'd already done. Who knew how much longer this was going to last? "Okay," he said, closing his eyes and wincing at her cries. "Call her." Then he added, "But you make sure she knows she isn't to lay a finger on Kerry."

Sam furrowed his brow. "What do you think she's going to do?"

Chapter 6: Venom

**Word Count this Chapter:** 5,334

Ruby looked at anything that Sam asked her to do as an opportunity to gain more and more of his trust. But as she walked down the stairs to Bobby Singer's panic room and stood outside the door, she began to wonder what she'd gotten herself into this time. "What the hell is she singing, Sam?"

"Uh... it's 'Three Little Fishies.'"

Ruby peeked into the panic room through the little vent in the door. Kerry was on the bed, writhing, with her face half-hidden in the pillow. She had managed to keep her clothes on, but her hand was buried in her crotch, clearly pushing the heavy denim of her jeans against her clit in a rhythmic motion. As Ruby had mentioned, she was singing to herself.

"Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem... what-tem Chu! Boop boop... dit-tem dat-tem what-tem... Chu! And they swam, and they... swam..." she sang breathlessly, her voice growing raspy.

Ruby, brow furrowed, looked back at Sam. "Why?"

"It's a concentration technique," Dean explained. He stood nearby, his arms crossed.

"For what?"

"To try to get her mind off what the incubus stuff is doing to her," Sam said.

Ruby smiled mischievously. "Doesn't look like it's working."

Sam cringed.

Rolling his eyes, Dean handed her the empty vial. "Do you recognize that smell?"

Ruby took a whiff of it. "Yup. That's incubus cum alright." She couldn't help but smile, but tried not to grin too big. "Why did your father have a thing like that in his storage locker? Brings up a whole slew of disturbing questions, doesn't it?"

Dean, restraining himself from just hauling off and smacking the demon bitch, instead barked, "Would you stop saying stupid things and just tell us what to do?"

"Hey, or maybe I could leave instead! I don't have to stay here and get yelled at."

"You guys, don't fight," Sam said wearily. "This is about helping Kerry."

"Right, Dean. You two asked me here to help your sister," Ruby scolded, and grinned at him as if she'd just won a prize.

Dean scowled back.

"Well, you're lucky you called me, because I happen to know a thing or two about incubi." While she talked, Ruby walked the room, playing with the vial in her fingers. "The cum, or 'spirit,' of an incubus is a very powerful aphrodisiac. Any human who drinks it will be driven mad with desire... as we've seen." She impishly gestured to the door of the panic room. "But you see, these kinds of things usually happen under more controlled circumstances. An incubus puts only a few drops of their venom in their cum. That way, they can keep control of just how excited their victim becomes." Ruby tapped the bottom of the closed bottle against her lips. "Some people die from too much of this stuff."

Both boys looked alarmed in reaction. Ruby loved that lost puppy look on Sam's face.

"From her reaction, I'd estimate that your sister drank at least a couple of ounces of venom." She wiggled the vial back and forth between her thumb and index finger.

"So what do we do?" Sam asked desperately. "Is there an antidote?"

"In a way." Leaning over him, Ruby said, "She's gotta fuck it out."

Dean, with a sigh, looked up at the ceiling. "So there is no antidote."

"No. Unfortunately, Kerry took a massive overdose. There's no telling how long the effects will last." Ruby glanced at one brother, then the other. "It could be days."

"Christ!" Sam exclaimed, and put a hand over his face.

"With a dose like that, the only thing that will help her is sexual attention. Touching, stroking, fucking, all that." For a moment, Ruby grinned as if that was her idea of the perfect weekend. "It must be constant until the venom wears off. If it's not, she'll be in agony. Her body is so turned on that she craves it every second. It's all part of how incubi work. They make you want it that badly."

"Sounds about like how a demon works," said Dean with a sarcastic smile.

She only grinned back. "Your sister is like a runaway train. If you don't want her to suffer... well, that's impossible, really. Even if you do find her someone to fuck, no one's going to be able to hold out _that_ long."

"Thanks for the reminder, Ruby; it's so helpful," Dean shot back.

"You're welcome. Of course, there is one more solution."

Sam asked, "What is it, Ruby?"

"You bring an incubus in here and let him finish her off in under an hour."

"Finish her off?" Sam's voice was alarmed.

"Not that kind of finishing, Sam. Make her cum. Do it so hard that she won't need anymore attention. Only a sex demon can do that."

Thinking that over, Dean pursed his lips and mused, "Or an angel."

"What?"

"An angel. I bet an angel could do it too."

"An angel?" Ruby laughed. "Well, I wouldn't really know, and I'm certainly not going to find out. I'm sure one of them would fry me to a crisp when he got off. Now..." Again, she leaned over Sam. "Do you want me to call in an incubus or not?"

"Not," Dean instantly answered.

Sam just glared at his brother for a moment before replying. "No, Ruby, you better not. We can't have a demon we don't know or trust in here doing something like that to Kerry." He looked at Ruby, and grew sheepish. "But I do have another idea."

"And what's that?"

"Ruby, um... are you a sex demon?"

Taking a few steps forward, Dean cried, "Are you kidding?"

"Dean, we know her. We can trust Ruby not to hurt Kerry in any way. What other choice do we have? We can't get Castiel to answer us."

"How do you even know she'll do it?" He gestured toward Ruby. "You're just assuming - "

"Dean!" Sam turned to Ruby. "Ruby, are you?"

She grinned slowly, and lied to him, leaving out a large portion of the truth, about how she served a succubus and was one herself, about how she had carefully held back the venom in her bodily fluids that would have driven him wild every time he drank her blood. Of course, the thing that probably would have infuriated him the most if he found out about it was the fact that a couple of times, she had allowed a few drops of her venom to flow right into his mouth with her blood, just so Sam would get aroused and ravage her.

"No, I'm not specifically a sex demon," Ruby replied, "but all demons have a sexual advantage over humans, and that is through our stamina."

"So, you could... do something to help."

With a sardonic smile, Ruby batted her eyes at him and said, "Sam, are you asking me to fuck your sister?"

"Oh... God." He covered his face with his hands. "How could you say that, Ruby?"

"I'm sorry, I know that's a tough thing for you to ask, but that is what you're asking, isn't it?"

Sam sighed heavily. "Yes, I guess it is."

"Well then." She grinned at them both. "You're in luck, because I'm feeling particularly horny tonight. I've even got some of my toys with me." Ruby patted the animal-print bag slung over her shoulder. "A girl can never be too prepared for a hot weekend."

Disgusted, Dean said, "Christ, would you shut up? You know you're talking about our sister, right?"

"Yes, your sister who, for some kooky little reason only she understands, drank a vial full of demon spooge. Now you want me to clean up her disturbed little mess. I don't have to do it, you know."

Lowering his head, Dean mumbled, "I know."

"Then maybe you should show me a little respect."

Dean remembered when Castiel had said something similar, but for entirely different reasons. "If I had it my way, I'd prefer it not be you. But since you're the only one here, I'll try to be nicer."

"But, Dean..." She smiled impishly at him. "I'm not the only one here."

Sam groaned at what she was suggesting. "Ruby, please."

The three peered through the window at Kerry, still curled into a ball of agony, still trying to shift her focus to that silly little children's song. "How are we going to do this?" Sam asked. "Ruby can't go in there with her, in a demon-proof room."

"We'll have to take her out."

"How?"

"Very carefully." Dean called through the window. "Kerry, we're coming in. We've found someone to... uh, relieve some of your tension."

Her head popped up and she glanced hopefully toward the door. "Castiel?"

"No... now, I need you to concentrate real hard so this doesn't wind up like last time. Okay?"

"Okay," Kerry replied, her face crawling with shame. As the door came open, she took a deep breath to steady herself.

When she saw Dean step in, Sam just behind him, she looked away, singing again. "'Whee!' yelled the little fishies, 'Here's a lot of fun. We'll swim in the sea till the day is done.' They swam and they swam, and it was a lark. Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!" Dean scooped Kerry up off the bed, and she swallowed hard, singing louder. Her voice began to crack with overuse. "Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem, Chu! Boop boop... dat-tem... Chu! And they... swam..."

Dean carried her up the stairs as quick as his legs could go. "You're singing it wrong. You were at the shark part."

"Oh, yeah. The... shark..." Kerry took a deep whiff of his neck. "You smell so good."

"Till all of a sudden they saw a shark," Dean sang, trying to get her back on track. He carried her into the guest bedroom.

"'Help!' cried the little fishies... 'Gee! Look at all the whales!' Quick... as they could, they..." When he tried to lay her out on one of the beds, Kerry grabbed hold of the collar of her brother's T-shirt and wouldn't let go. "And they swam... and they swam... back over the dam." She went in to kiss his neck, the sound of ripping fabric coming from between her fingers.

Dean pried her off of him. "Ruby!"

Ruby stepped in, pushing past Dean and grabbing Kerry's wrists; she climbed on top of her and pinned her down to the bed. "Behave."

"Get off me!" Kerry cried, starting to fight.

The demon was stronger than her. "You've been a very naughty, very stupid girl, Kerry. If you don't get some relief to this predicament you've gotten yourself into, you could wind up in an asylum or the morgue. I don't think you're in a position to be picky about your sexual partners."

"But... Castiel."

"The angel hasn't shown up. It's either me or your brothers, and even though you don't seem to mind, they do. You kinky thing you."

The fact that Castiel hadn't shown up made her want to cry. "But I'm not bisexual."

"What difference does that make now?" Ruby brought a large dildo out of her bag. "If you're good, I'll let you be on top next."

Leaving the door slightly ajar, Sam and Dean retreated a few feet and each sank into a chair. Although neither one was particularly enthusiastic to hear the sounds they knew would be coming from that room, they couldn't just leave their sister entirely alone with a demon. "I hope this works," Sam said.

What he did not know was that Ruby could have ended this whole thing in under an hour, being a succubus herself. But Ruby was not a charitable demon. Kerry had said some cruel things to her in the past, and even bashed her over the head with a shovel once while trying to help her brother steal Ruby's knife. They would both pay for that now. Ruby would not end this by finishing Kerry off. She would make a show of it, and then leave Dean to have to continue the job. Ah, the anguish that would cause them made the demon smile. Just the idea of it made her hornier than hell.

Ruby got off the bed, beginning to remove her clothes. "If you want it, you better get naked."

For a moment, Kerry eyed the tiger-print bag, and then watched Ruby take off her jacket. "What else you got in there?" She sat up.

"One of those strap-on things. You've already seen the size of the dildo. Is that how big your brother is?"

Cringing, Kerry groaned, "Fuck, you're such a bitch."

"What do you want from me? I'm a _demon_ - hello?" She pulled her tight shirt off over her head. "I'm doing you a favor. The least you could do is let me have a little fun."

Kerry found herself surprised to be looking at Ruby's breasts in the lacy black bra, only they were _tits_, round, firm, perky tits, and Kerry wanted to touch them, to suck on them. She started to pant again.

Ruby saw her looking, and grinned. "Boy, that stuff is really messing you up, isn't it? You want to fuck your brothers, now a woman, a woman possessed by a demon. Anything goes, huh?"

"Please stop talking."

Ruby pushed down her pants. She stood before Kerry in sexy high-cut underwear, still working off her high-heel boots. "You gonna get naked or what?"

With a lick of her lips, Kerry jumped up off the bed and rushed over to Ruby, putting her hands on the demon's sides and rubbing her appreciatively. She slowly moved toward Ruby's tits, panting against her cleavage.

"Go ahead and touch them."

Kerry looked up at her and then back down at her chest. This was the permission she wanted, and she cupped Ruby's breasts, thumbing for her nipples.

Grinning wider, Ruby stepped out of her jeans. "Mmm, that's good." She lifted Kerry's chin. "Now you."

When Kerry just stared at her stupidly, Ruby rolled her eyes and grabbed the hem of the other woman's shirt, yanking up on it. Kerry allowed her to pull her shirt off over her head. "You're in a sex venom haze," she commented, and snickered. "Don't worry, I can put you right."

"You've got a really nice body," Kerry said.

"Thank you. I chose well, hm?" Ruby took her by the shoulders and moved her back to the bed.

After she got Kerry to sit down, Ruby took her by the chin again and kissed her, a dirty kiss that was all tongue. Kerry made several sounds that were part relieved sigh, part moan. Then Ruby roughly laid her back and yanked down her jeans and panties, getting them out of the way.

Kerry allowed herself to be acted upon. Ruby was the demon and so Kerry looked at her as some sort of expert on what was happening to her; she figured Ruby knew what she was doing.

The demon climbed on top of Kerry again, straddling her. Ruby rubbed her own stomach slowly and moved her hand down into her panties, putting a look of ecstasy on her face. She stroked several times at her clit. "Mmmmm, ohhhh..." she moaned.

Kerry watched, panting. "That's so damn sexy," she said, voice pleading.

Ruby loved teasing her. "I've got my pussy almost completely shaved. Just a landing strip left. You wanna see?" Lowering the waistband of her panties a bit, Ruby showed her the small strip of pubic hair, and then pushed the fabric down enough for Kerry to see her glistening lips. "You wanna lick my pussy, don't you?"

"Mmm, mmm..." Kerry made helpless noises as she nodded with enthusiasm.

"I'll let you." Ruby nonchalantly took off her bra before maneuvering herself so she could slip off her panties and toss them on the floor. She walked up the bed on her knees, straddling Kerry's face. "If you please me good, I'll give you a nice, hard fuck."

Kerry said nothing, only nodded dutifully, and buried her face between Ruby's legs.

"Mm, yes!" Ruby growled as Kerry sucked on her clit. She took hold of Kerry's hair and pushed her up against her crotch until she was sucking and chewing on Ruby's pussy with her lips. "Make sure you put your teeth into it too."

Ruby let her go at it for almost ten minutes. At times, she took hold of the headboard and gyrated against Kerry's mouth, fucking her face and moaning loudly so the brothers could hear her. Near the end, she had stopped doing that and was just holding Kerry's head with both of her hands, fingers digging into her hair, keeping her from doing anything but eating her pussy. Kerry's mouth and chin glistened with Ruby's juices.

Ruby came for a second time. Crying out and shaking, she held Kerry's head against her clit hard enough for it to be unpleasant for Kerry, but clearly not caring. When Kerry tried to pull away, Ruby wrapped the girl's hair around her hand and yanked on it, then literally sat on her face so she couldn't move until Ruby was through. "Mmm, oh yeah... yes, yes... oh, that was good."

Kerry began to struggle with a whimper.

Ruby finally rocked back on her knees and allowed Kerry to breathe. "You're such a wimp," she laughed, and pinned Kerry to the bed once more by her wrists. "Thanks for the head. Did you like licking my pussy? Hm? Putting your mouth all over me and sucking my dirty clit?" Ruby smacked her face lightly. "You should eat pussy more often; you're good at it."

"Please just fuck me."

"Oh, you want it, do you?" Ruby leaned down to lick her own juices off Kerry's face, turning it into a deep tongue kiss. "You want me to put on my nice, big dick and slide it in you, baby?"

"Uh huh."

"How hard do you want me to fuck you?"

"As hard as you can."

Ruby got the strap-on apparatus and began to put it together. There were parts of it that she deliberately did not use; it was possible to put another dildo in it that Ruby could fuck herself with, but she wanted to be partially unsatisfied when they were done screwing. Riding Kerry's face again sounded like nothing but pure fun. She did, however, intend to use the clit vibe on herself. "Looooook," Ruby crooned, picking up the long dildo and inserting it into the hole in the front. "It's so big."

Kerry made aroused, helpless noises.

Once she had everything set up, Ruby turned on the clit vibe and just enjoyed it for a few seconds. "Ohhhh, that's nice," she moaned.

Kerry looked at her expectantly.

"Oh dear, did I forget about you? So sorry." Rolling her eyes, Ruby pulled one of Kerry's legs over her shoulder, turning her so that she lay partially on her side. "Look at you. You're so wet." She rubbed a finger over Kerry's clit, making lazy circles. That got her to squeal. Ruby sucked the juices off her finger. "Hm. You're a quart low," she teased, and slid the dildo up inside her.

Ruby waited until Kerry was thoroughly lost in the sex to say anything else. She made full, hard strokes with the dildo; Kerry grabbed her pillow and hugged it to her face and chest, sometimes trying to hide herself in it. She panted and moaned into it as Ruby fucked her. With a grin, Ruby began to fondle Kerry's clit again, using quick circular strokes. It made Kerry grip the pillow harder and mewl. "You know, this thing looks familiar," Ruby said. She pulled the dildo almost all the way out as if to look at it, then shoved it back in. Kerry mewled again. "Yeah, I've definitely seen a dick like that before," she panted, and then added, "Looks just like Sammy's."

Kerry let out a frustrated snarl while Ruby just tittered impishly. "Don't you wish you could get your little brother in here, Kerry? I gotta tell ya... he's nice and big, and really takes his time. Wouldn't it be nice if we could both take you at the same time?"

"God, Ruby, can't you please stop saying such horrible things?" Kerry cried, near tears. She covered her face with her hand.

Ruby did not stop. "Admit it. You want both Dean and Sam on you at the same time. They're such good-looking guys. Sucking your tits, stroking your clit, one doing you from each end... mmm, sounds pretty good to me."

"Stop!"

Ruby rubbed at her clit without mercy. "Say it, or I won't fuck you anymore."

Kerry kept the pillow against her face as she said, "I want... Sam and Dean."

"Say it again. You're so turned on that you want your brothers to fuck you."

"I... I'm so turned on... I want Sam and Dean."

"To fuck you."

Kerry swallowed hard, two tears running down her face. "To fuck me."

"Very gooooooood," Ruby crooned, and stroked the side of her face. "Now turn over and I'll do you like a dog."

She was a bit tired of looking at Kerry's face anyway. Now the girl could bury practically her whole face in the pillow while her ass was up in the air, Ruby fucking her from behind. She leaned down on Kerry's back so she could reach around and divide her time between fondling her tits and rubbing her clit. Ruby enjoyed bringing her fingers wet with Kerry's juices to her mouth and making Kerry suck on them. She wished there was some way she could sneak Sam into the room and have him take over for her without Kerry's knowledge, just so she could see the girl's face when she realized it was her little brother fucking her instead. Ruby pictured Sam naked while she came.

An hour later and they were still going at it. Kerry must've cum at least eight times, but it wasn't satiating her lust. Ruby was starting to get bored. Just for a little variety, she insisted on tying Kerry up. "I've got these scarves in my bag," she said. "I won't knot them very tight, so you can get out of them if you like."

"Whatever, just do it."

"You just wanna get fucked, right?" Ruby bound her wrists together, then tied the scarf to one of the slats in the headboard. With a wicked grin, she wrapped her panties around Kerry's mouth and tied a knot in them to keep them there, gagging her. "Oh, now _that's_ sexy."

Reaching into the bag, Ruby brought out a longer, thicker dildo. "Do you want this?"

Kerry growled against the panty gag and nodded quickly.

"Good choice."

A minute later and Kerry was straining against the scarves, pulling on them to make them dig into her wrists, unable to stop crying out as Ruby fucked her with the huge sex toy. The sheets were wet underneath them. "Listen to those sounds," Ruby said, indicating the noises the sex was making. Kerry hid her face against her arm.

Another hour and Kerry still wasn't satisfied. Ruby removed the strap-on, tossing it to the floor. "Apparently, this thing is useless." She made sure Kerry was still tied up and gagged, that nothing had slipped off, before removing the two rings on the fingers of her right hand and placing them on the nightstand. Kerry watched her, wondering what she was going to do. Then she got in between Kerry's legs, trying to spread them as much as possible, and put all of her fingers inside her. "You're so wet, you don't even need any lube," Ruby commented, and slid almost her entire fist into Kerry's channel.

Kerry screamed, arching her back. The scream was muffled by Ruby's panties, but Sam and Dean still heard it.

There was a lot of resistance, but Ruby managed to slide it in, and then patted Kerry's cheek with her free hand. "See, that wasn't so bad."

When they rushed into the room, Sam and Dean could only gawk in horror before turning away, their faces flushing awkwardly. "You're hurting her!" Sam cried.

"I am not; look at her, she's already cumming."

It was true - Kerry's body shook with an orgasm. She clearly arched herself down onto Ruby's hand as if she liked it.

"She can't help it," Dean said. He himself couldn't help taking brief looks; he hadn't seen anything like that since a really raunchy porno he had watched once when he was in a particularly dirty mood.

"Why do you have her tied up like that, then?" Sam asked, his voice full of anguish at seeing his sister in such a position.

"Because I like the way it looks," Ruby answered matter-of-factly.

When the two men still stood there, unable to move, Ruby gave them orders. "Either you guys trust me and march yourselves right back out that door, or get over here and help me. I may be fisting your sister, but she needs all the attention she can get if we're ever going to finish this."

That anguished look had crumpled into tears when Sam heard the 'get over here and help me' part; he covered his mouth and retreated from the room. Dean got as far as 'fisting your sister' before turning to leave, a disgusted look on his face. He left with a parting comment. "If you hurt her, I'll..." His hand curled into a fist and he went out the door into the hall.

Ruby shook her head. "Wussies." She started to move the hand inside Kerry a few inches forward and a few inches back at a time, setting up a nice rhythm.

Kerry shut her eyes tight, howling into the gag with every small thrust. She had never felt anything so explosive in her life, although she wasn't sure it was something she could stand without the incubus venom in her system.

Ruby smiled. The wet noises coming from between Kerry's legs were louder than ever before. It made her hot. "You're being good. I'll be nice to you." Ruby sucked at Kerry's tits while she fucked her.

Sam and Dean stood doubled-over in the hall, hands on their knees. The sound of their ragged breathing and Sam's sniffles seemed somehow louder than the cries coming from the guest room. "I... I never wanted to see anything like that," Sam said, his voice breaking.

Dean agreed, nodding. "This had better finish it."

It did not. Ruby kept it up for half an hour, and just stopped counting orgasms at twelve. Kerry was exhausted. Secretly, she knew it wasn't about how many orgasms Kerry had, but how long it took for the venom to work its way out of her system. The method did not matter. The ferocity of the sex did not matter. All that mattered was constant stimulation. But Ruby was having too much fun not to take it to these extreme levels.

She insisted to Kerry that if she could just get her to cum as hard as she could that it would all be over. "Get ready, baby," Ruby snickered, and pushed her hand into Kerry's channel up to the wrist.

Kerry squirmed, raising up off the bed, and screamed against the gag. It hurt so good. Her thighs quaked with yet another orgasm before she slumped to the bed, fainting.

_Damn_. Ruby withdrew her hand and slapped Kerry's cheeks a few times. "Hey. Wake up. You gotta get me off now."

Kerry did not awaken.

"You puss." Ruby wickedly rubbed the juices that coated her hand all over Kerry's tits and stomach, making her chest glisten. She went into the tiger-print bag, took out a digital camera, and snapped off a picture. Not only did she want to remember this, all of it, but she wanted Kerry to remember it. The combination of elements got the demon hotter than she could stand - the only thing that would have made it more arousing was being able to choke Kerry with one of the scarves while she fucked her. Ruby shrugged and set herself up a little scene.

She wrapped one of the scarves around Kerry's neck, the red sparkly one, her favorite, and pretended to choke the girl while fucking herself with the larger dildo. Kerry did not regain consciousness the whole time. In the end, Ruby wound up fucking her clit into Kerry's slack mouth. It got her off well enough. The demon cried out and arched her back, her free hand gripping the top of the headboard.

She did not bother to clean herself up, or Kerry. Ruby wanted to smell like sex when she went out into the hall. She put her clothes back on, gathered up all of her things, untied Kerry, and left the room. The idea that she was wearing panties that had gagged the Winchester wench for hours could almost get her excited again.

Sam looked up when she came through the door. "Is it over?"

"I'm sorry, Sam, I did everything I could, but I just can't satisfy that bitch. I'm outta here."

Jumping up, Sam grabbed her arm. "Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm leaving. I have better things to do than fuck your sister all night. Buh-bye." Ruby turned to go.

"Ruby, please! We need your help."

Even Dean begged her to stay. "Please, Ruby."

She knew they would react that way. Ruby sighed. "Guys, your sister drank too much of that stuff. It was full of the demon's venom, and in a situation like that, it will be a while before it's all out of her system. You're just going to have to wait it out."

"Isn't there anything else you can do?" Dean asked.

"You saw me in there, giving it my all." Ruby held up her hand, then made a show of counting the jewelry on her fingers. "Am I missing a ring...?"

Both boys winced. "Cut the shit, Ruby. Please, just... do anything."

"You said you didn't want an incubus in here. But maybe there's something else I can do."

"What is it?" Sam questioned hopefully.

"Well, with an incubus, sex is his business. Some build fucking machines. Maybe I can borrow one."

"A fucking machine?" Dean said; he sounded dubious.

"Are you telling me you don't remember those from Hell?" Ruby asked him. "I can't believe they didn't use them on you."

Dean put his head in his hands and just breathed, obviously angered by her relentless teasing.

Sam tried to switch the focus back to her suggestion. "How does a fucking machine work?"

"Duh, Sam. It fucks. It fucks without end. Somehow, demons have invented a perpetual motion machine. They put a dildo on it and it just fucks, and fucks, and fucks... phew." She fanned herself. "They're amazing."

"It never stops?"

"No. It never gets tired. It just goes and goes. Something that isn't so great for someone who isn't ready for it, but could be just the thing we need in this situation."

Sam was nodding. "Get us one."

"Sure thing." Before Ruby left, she added, "Your sister is resting. She will probably sleep for a few hours. I'd take advantage of it, and get something to eat." She leaned over Dean, her hand on his shoulder. "Rest up. If I can't get one of those machines, you'll have to go in."

That was it. Dean swiped at her, trying to backhand Ruby across the face. She ducked out of the way, snickering. "Good one, you almost hit me."

A few seconds later and she was gone. Ruby hadn't yet decided if she would actually come back.

Sam peeked in on his sister. She was flat on her back, snoring lightly. He covered her up with the rumpled sheets and prayed to himself that Ruby would return before Kerry awakened.


	3. Chp 7 thru 9

**Tuck Those Ribbons Under Your Helmet, Chps 7-9**  
A _Supernatural_ Fic  
by Laurel (Sailorhathor)

**Rating:** Adult17+  
**Pairings:** Winsister/Castiel, Winsister/Ruby, Winsister/Dean, Winsister/Sam, Winsister/Adam (in a dream), Sam/Castiel/Dean  
**Dates:** Written September 2010  
**Word Count:** 35,896  
**Summary:** Winsister AU. The hunting life isn't easy on anyone. For Kerry Winchester, it may be too much. The worst, though, was being in love with a multi-dimensional wavelength that may not ever love her back.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for most of season 4 and the first few episodes of season 5. Incest, Het, Femmeslash, and Slash. Sex venom (similar to sex pollen), dub-con, brief non-con, fisting, sex toys, vanilla bondage, use of the Bible in a way that some would probably consider blasphemy, simulated scarfing, and mention of underage Wincest. This is not the "nice" Ruby from season 4, but Ruby with her season 3 personality, and then some. She is very much a demon. In fact, I imagine the Ruby in this story looking like Katie Cassidy all the way through.  
**Beta Thanks:** Thanks as always to Sammie for the wonderful beta!  
**Author's Notes:** Title comes from the Tori Amos song "Mother." Abridged version of a longer story (which I'll eventually write out to the end).

Chapter 7: Jumping on the Grenade

**Word Count this Chapter:** 3,249

The venom working on every aspect of her being, Kerry's dream of Adam changed.

This time when she rushes into the house, the ghoul has Adam down on the floor, opening his pants and taking his cock into her mouth. Kerry watches the creature suck him off as if she is frozen in place. She then crouches down next to him and reaches behind her to unzip the dress she is wearing; it's a light summer dress she doesn't have anymore, not for five years now. Kerry takes down the straps. His face marked with arousal, Adam reaches for her, and she leans down to kiss him. Adam's hand cups her naked breast.

Kerry awoke with a horrified gasp. Once she realized where she was, she turned on her side in the bed and began to cry. What this shit was doing to her...

Sam immediately came into the room. Dean had a hold of one of his arms, but Sam shook it off. "She's been asleep three hours. Maybe it's worn off," he said, and moved over to the side of the bed. He couldn't stand to hear her cry like that, deep, mournful sobs. "Hey Kerry, you okay?"

"No," she wailed. Kerry curled into a ball under the sheet. "This stuff is fucking with my head, fucking with my head."

Sam dared to stroke back her hair. "So it hasn't worn off?"

She took a moment to do a self-inventory of how her body was feeling. "I know it's still affecting me, but right now I'm just sore."

Sam didn't want to talk about why. "Do you want to try to eat?"

"Yeah. And use the bathroom."

Kerry wrapped the sheet around herself and attempted to get out of bed, but her legs collapsed under her when she tried to stand. Sam helped her up, supporting her weight while they walked to the bathroom. He sat her on the toilet and waited outside the door. For his own part, Dean hovered behind them, ready to do what he had to if Kerry went crazy again.

"Where's Ruby?" Kerry asked.

"She left a few hours ago. Went to see if she could get us something to help."

"Damn bitch lied to me. Said I could be on top once," Kerry mumbled to herself. Inside, she was ashamed of how she'd let Ruby treat her.

"What?"

"Nothing." Of course, Kerry was even more ashamed of the fact that she'd let Ruby do it all again if it meant getting off further.

"Dean, go get her some of that casserole I fixed."

"It's not a good idea that I leave you two alone."

"I can handle her."

Giving Sam a look, Dean reluctantly went to get his sister a plate of food.

Sam helped Kerry back to the bed. Dean, returning to the room, breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't find his sister climbing his brother like a vine. Feeling weak and sad, Kerry let Sam feed her while she laid back in the bed, always just on the verge of tears.

"It will be alright. The stuff must be wearing off, Kerry; you're not attacking anyone," he pointed out. Sam put the almost empty plate on the nightstand and rubbed away one of her tears with his thumb. "Please don't cry."

She wanted very badly for someone to hold her, but was afraid to try it. A sudden wave of arousal at the feeling of Sam touching her face only gave her more reason to pull away. "Oh, no. It's starting again," Kerry groaned, and curled back into her ball. When the arousal turned to pain, she howled into the pillow. "Make it stop, God, make it stop!"

Sam hurt for her. "Get my cell phone. Call Ruby and see how far away she is."

Jumping up, Dean rushed to get the phone.

Kerry slowly uncurled her body. Her hand came out from under the sheet and snaked up Sam's thigh. "I can't... do this!" she growled at herself. "Stop. Stop!"

Sam realized she was yelling at herself, not him. "It's alright. We'll get Ruby here as soon as possible." In that moment, he made a decision, and took her by the arms. "Sit up. Sit up, Kerry."

She was sitting up just as Dean came back. "It's ringing." He listened for a moment. Eventually, Dean frowned and began to talk. "Ruby, where are you? Call us back, now. Kerry's awake. It's starting again. Get back here." He hung up. "She's letting it go to voicemail."

For all the times Ruby had been able to fool Sam in the past, he had no fantasies about her innocence this time; she was making them wait on purpose. Why, probably to have a little fun at Kerry and Dean's expense, as they had always been at odds with the demon. He would deal with Ruby later. Now, his sister needed his help. "Dean, you should leave the room."

"Why? What are you doing?"

"Let me take care of this, okay?" Sam put Kerry's arms around his neck. She just looked at him at first, bewildered.

Dean quickly realized what Sam meant to do. "Sammy, no. Ruby will call back any minute."

"No, she won't."

Kerry started to rub Sam's chest through his shirt. Her eyes grew hungry with desire. But suddenly, she stopped, on the verge of tears. "No, no, I can't. I can't."

"It's okay, Kerry. Go ahead," Sam said quietly, and added, "I won't let you suffer." He took hold of her face and kissed her soundly on the mouth.

Kerry's hands just hung in mid-air, her body caught between wanting to let go and resisting the urge to ravage her little brother.

Horrified, Dean pried them apart. Kerry instantly pulled back, a hand to her mouth, and just panted there on the bed while Dean dragged Sam toward the door.

"I can't let you do this, Sammy," he said.

"I've already made my decision! I can handle it, Dean," Sam replied.

"Yeah, well I can't let you jump on this grenade." Dean shoved Sam out into the hall. "I'm the oldest. It's my job." He closed the door and locked it.

Shocked, Sam pounded on the door. "Dean! Damn it! Open up!"

"It's my job, Sam, not yours," Dean called through the door. "Please, just go away."

"Dean!" Sam kept pounding for a little longer, and then finally gave up, taking a seat in the hall with his head in his hands.

Dean tried to put on a smile when he turned back to his sister. "Hey Kerry," he said, "it's gonna be okay."

The sheet had loosened and fallen down in places; Kerry tried to wrap it around her naked body again. "No one's jumping on this grenade, Dean. You get out too."

"Can't do that, sis." He approached the bed. "Sam's right, you're suffering."

"It doesn't matter. I did this to myself, I deserve it."

"Oh, you know we can't accept that." Dean took off his shirt.

She tried not to look at him. "Dean, please don't." Kerry's voice broke with emotion.

He sat on the edge of the bed. "We can get past this."

When he took her by the arms and pulled her onto his lap, Kerry began to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she wept. "I fuck everything up so bad."

"Shhhh. It hurts my feelings when women cry while I'm..." Dean couldn't finish that sentence, couldn't say it that way, even if it was a joke. _Making love to them_. "Remember when we were teenagers and Dad would leave us alone for weeks, and we would experiment with each other? Practicing kissing and giving head and stuff? This is just like that."

"No it isn't. It's totally different."

"Shh, stop talking about it," Dean said, kissing the side of her head.

"The Winchester way. Don't discuss it, just do it." A spike of pain stabbed Kerry in the gut, and she wailed.

"Works for me."

Kerry tried one last thing. "Castiel... will come at any... minute."

"We can't rely on that." He felt her arms going around him, heard her breath coming out in pants. Dean took hold of the sheet and pulled it down. Kerry whimpered. "Relax, it's okay." With that, he kissed her softly and laid her back on the bed.

When Dean moved down, his mouth poised over her breast, she began apologizing again. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Dean..."

He crawled back up the bed and looked her in the eyes. "Stop it."

"I can't," Kerry wept.

"Then close your eyes if you have to."

That seemed to work. She nodded, putting a hand over her face and closing her eyes, shaking with sobs.

"You realize this isn't doing anything for my ego," Dean joked, and crawled a little ways back down the bed.

Kerry tried to be strong. This was really going to happen, and it would be easier for both of them if she didn't sob her way through it. "You think I give a shit about your ego by now?" she said with a small, shaky laugh.

Dean sighed, relieved to hear her joke back. "Not really."

The first touch of his lips to her nipple and Kerry made a frightened noise.

Pleasing women was something at which Dean had a lot of experience; he approached it from that perspective. They weren't that much different from men in that they liked certain things to be sucked and other things to be touched, and then switch and repeat until foreplay is over. Dean could be like a machine if she needed him to be. Don't get emotionally involved, just do the job. But after a minute of sucking her tits, Kerry began to make noises, different noises. These sounds were harder to hear, because they came from pleasure.

When they were teens, Dean loved to hear those sounds; it meant he was doing it right. This time, it was weird. He didn't allow himself to think about it, and reached down to stroke her clit.

Kerry squirmed underneath him. When her moans became particularly needy and desperate, Dean began to undo his pants.

He simply pushed them down and off, along with his underwear, suddenly wondering if she'd even be able to feel it or if it would hurt after what Ruby had done to her. "If it... hurts... you tell me, okay? I'll stop. We don't have to... if it hurts, we can just do other stuff."

Unsure of why Dean was saying these things, Kerry just nodded. Her eyes were open now, and she kept them on his face as he laid himself between her legs.

He realized that he wasn't really hard. It wasn't something he even thought about when it came to sex - Little Big Dean never seemed to have any trouble with it when a naked girl was around. But this was no regular naked girl. Dean's emotions were too wrapped up in what he was doing, who he was doing it to. He decided to do what he could to get himself excited. Maybe lots of kissing would do it; Dean didn't have to look her in the eyes when he was kissing her.

He slipped his cock between her wet pussy lips, rubbing the head of it over her clit. She gasped in ecstasy. Dean bucked his hips so his cock would slide up and down over the quivering little knob and her lips would stroke him down at the same time. Kerry arched her back, her eyes closed, little sounds escaping her. While he waited, Dean planted kisses on her mouth, which she eventually returned. By the time his cock got hard, they were kissing deeply.

Dean lifted his hips to reposition himself; the motion told Kerry what he was about to do and she whimpered. "Don't you start crying again," he said, half-joking and half-serious.

"I won't." Her voice shook. "Dean, I'm sorry you have to - "

"If you apologize to me one more time..." He had to think about it, but came up with nothing. "...well I don't know what I'll do. But once I figure it out, I'll let you know."

Kerry had to laugh, her hand to her eyes. Dean took advantage of the moment to slide himself inside her. She gasped, arching her head into the pillow.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

Kerry was a bit sore from the waist down, but once Dean was inside her, a great heat swept up and down her body and the pain didn't matter. The incubus venom still moved through her system. It was strong. "No, I'm okay. I mean, yes. I mean..." Kerry shivered deliciously all over. "It's good."

"Okay." Dean wished it wasn't so awkward, but it was. He just had to pretend they were teenagers again, with the reckless abandon of kids that age. It would help if she'd stop looking at him with those big, searching eyes. Huffing out a breath, Dean buried his face in her neck and began to thrust.

Within a minute, Kerry was clutching him to her, one hand squeezing his ass and the other cradling his head. Dean's muscular back flexed with his movements. He didn't want to make any noise, but she couldn't help but moan each time he slid deep inside.

It seemed to take her a long time to climax. Dean did his best to hold out. Nearing the threshold of his stamina, a sudden, horrible thought crawled across his mind. "You took your... pill today, didn't you?" he panted.

"Uh huh," Kerry answered.

Dean sighed with relief; it came out as a breathless huff. "Good." He almost continued, saying that he wished he had a condom too, but he thought it would worry her, and kept it to himself.

Unable to hold it back, Dean moaned helplessly when he came inside her.

At this point, there usually would be the post-sex cool down and lounging in the bed until they both felt like doing it again, but he knew that wouldn't work in this case. Kerry hadn't orgasmed yet. Dean kept thrusting in an effort to keep himself aroused, reaching down and rubbing her clit aggressively at the same time. Shortly after, she mewled and came.

He knew it wasn't over, though. Kerry just kept clutching him, holding his ass down like she wanted more.

As if she read his mind, she said, "There's some relief when I cum, but then it just starts all over again."

"Okay. It's okay," Dean replied.

He used a few different positions, hoping one would satisfy her completely. Straight missionary. Doggie style. Letting her get on top. Although that one seemed to be the most enjoyable for her, Kerry still began to buck her hips again only seconds after she'd cum.

The fifth time, Dean turned her over on her back and hooked his elbows around her knees, lifting her up and spreading her open, her ankles dangling out to the side. He'd always found this to be a good position for really hard fucking. From this angle, Kerry's channel was raised enough for him to push down into it, sliding in deep, and deliver hard, fast, pile-driving thrusts. Dean braced himself on the bed and went to it, unable to keep from grunting over how good it felt. His ass and back flexed athletically with every motion.

Bearing down on her like that, Dean had all the control, and Kerry gladly turned it over to him. She moaned and squealed in ecstasy at how deep he could penetrate her in this position. Within a minute, Kerry had already had two small orgasms.

At the third, hardest one, she shook all over and cried out his name. "Dean!" Kerry moaned. It wasn't something she had planned to do, but the climax was so good that she couldn't control herself.

She was sloppy wet by this time, and Dean could hear his movements making hot, dirty noises, something that had always turned him on beyond belief. Less than ten seconds after Kerry had cried his name, he also came with a loud snarl.

Dean slumped to the bed beside her, letting her legs fall and just lying there, panting, exhausted. It didn't take long for her to be on him again. Kissing his neck, rubbing his stomach. "Oh... fuck," he groaned.

Dean's eyes momentarily rolled up into his head when Kerry began stroking his cock. She was trying to get him hard again. "Kerr, I... I don't think I can," he lamented, almost whining. Five times in a row, especially with almost no recovery period, was too much for any man.

"You can do it," Kerry assured, and massaged his balls.

"Boy, you sure aren't having any second thoughts about this anymore," he joked.

Kerry moved to put her mouth on his cock and the first touch of her tongue caused such a jolt in him that the muscles in his upper thigh spasmed, where the thigh met the hip. It was painful. "Goddamn it," Dean ground out between gritted teeth. When the cramp didn't stop, he rolled off the bed and stood up.

"Please come back," Kerry begged.

Dean tried to walk the cramp off; he hobbled around the room. "I'm sorry, Kerry. I need a break. You killed my dick."

Growling, she jumped up and chased him to the door. "You can't go!" They played a brief game of tug o' war with his arm. "Please, Dean, I need you!"

"I know you do, but I also know when I'm spent, Kerry. I'm sorry."

She started to block his way, but the pain returned, and she was on the floor, curled into a wailing ball within seconds. It hurt him to see her like that. Dean bent down to kiss the side of her head. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He grabbed his underwear and left the room.

Sam had been lying on his side on the couch, an anguished look on his face, his cell phone clutched in his hand. When he heard Dean coming down the hall, he quickly sat up. Dean had put on his underwear and was holding the spot that had cramped up; by the time he got to the living room, he could only collapse into a chair, wincing.

"She's screaming again," Sam said, worried.

"I know." Dean indicated his crotch. "It's dead."

"You gotta rest?"

"Yeah. Got a muscle cramp. Not the obvious one, although..." Dean winced at the pain again.

Sam stood up. "Ruby won't call back." Taking a deep breath, he put his phone in Dean's hand. "Let me know if she calls, or if Castiel shows up. I'm going in."

"Sammy, no."

"I was ready to do it before and I'm still ready now. Let me help, Dean. You can't stop me this time."

From his chair, Dean just panted and held his thigh; he knew there wasn't a thing he could do to change Sam's mind. He just wasn't used to allowing his little brother to jump on the grenade as well. "Do whatever you feel you need to, Sam."

With a nod, Sam headed toward the hall. He stopped long enough to give Dean a hard punch in the arm. "That's for throwing me out and locking the door."

"I guess I deserved that," he responded, and leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes.

Chapter 8: Sheltering Wing

**Word Count this Chapter:** 3,560

Sam found Kerry curled up on the carpet near the door. He instantly peeled his shirt off. "Kerry? Come on, you're a mess. Let's go take a bath, okay?"

"Bath?" She panted hard several times. "Ohhh, a bath would be nice."

"Yeah, come on, let's take a nice, hot bath." Sam put her arm around his neck and scooped her up.

It didn't occur to her what might happen until he'd carried her into the bathroom and laid her down on the floor. Kerry watched her brother turn on the water and adjust the temperature. "As soon as there's some water in here, we'll get in."

Silent a few moments longer, she watched as he removed his bandages so they wouldn't get wet. The stitches stood out plainly on his arms. It hurt to see him so injured, but the idea of him doing this for her hurt even more. "Sam, you're not coming in the tub with me."

"Yes I am," he stated firmly.

The realization hit her all at once and she put her hands over her face. "No, no, no, not with you, not with my little Sammy," Kerry wept.

He took her in his arms and held her, stroking her hair. At first, she tried to push away, but eventually just gave in. "It's okay, Kerry. I know what I'm doing, and I'm not so little anymore." Sam took her hand. "See me as you did through the effects of the venom. I'm not your little brother, I'm just a man." Hoping it would entice her, he moved her hand around in circles on his upper chest, where he was muscular and firm. "I want you to touch me."

Mesmerized, Kerry fondled and squeezed him, then laid her head on his chest. "Please forgive me for this, Sammy. I'm sorry for what I'm making you do," she said, her eyes closed.

"What? Of course I'll forgive you." Sam took her face in his hands and lifted her head so she'd look at him. "I don't know why you drank that stuff, but I won't leave you alone to suffer. We do whatever is needed to get each other through things like this."

"This is a bit too much for a sister to ask of her brother," Kerry replied with a shake of her head.

"You didn't ask, I volunteered."

"Oh yeah, and I attacked you earlier," she reminded him.

"You couldn't help it." Sam cleared his throat. "Um, why did you drink that stuff anyway? Did you think it would make you stronger?"

"No, I... I wanted to forget all the painful things we've been through lately. I just... couldn't deal, Sammy." She spoke one more painful word; it was all she had to say to make him understand. "_Adam_."

"Oh... oh, Kerry." He hugged her to him and let her cry while the tub finished filling up with water. "Hey, time to get in. Tub's full."

Shucking the rest of his clothes, Sam climbed in and turned, extending a helping hand to her too. When Kerry tried to go to the other end of the tub, he gently took her by the arm and coaxed her onto his lap, facing him.

Kerry immediately felt his cock brush her between the legs; she looked away from him in shame. "I can't believe I put you in this position." Even as she was saying that, her body was betraying her, hips pressing her down on him in a water lapdance. Sam let out a small moan of pleasure. "I... I can't stop myself," Kerry said, grinding on him more aggressively. The rounded tip of his arousal slid over her clit and back down again; the pull on his cockhead made him close his eyes and moan loudly. "Oh God, Sam, please don't stop loving me," she begged, beginning to cry once more.

"Impossible," Sam whispered, and pulled her face down to his, their lips brushing. "No matter what happens, I will never stop loving you." With that, he kissed her passionately on the mouth.

Sam took his cock in one hand and her hip in the other, guiding Kerry into the right position. "Go down real slow," he said.

It struck her that he wasn't treating this like a chore, but a pleasure. After what Sam was willing to do for her, Kerry wasn't going to question it. She slid down on him slow and easy, feeling every inch of him as he glided up inside her. They both closed their eyes and breathed out in ecstasy.

Sam held Kerry's sides as she began to move up and down; when she tried to go fast, he said, "No no no, no no," holding her down briefly until she stopped. "Go slow. _Please_."

Kerry answered by using a much slower rhythm. It allowed them to feel much more of it on an intimate level, warm skin sliding against skin. The water didn't affect their traction as much as she thought it might. For a while, Sam just laid back against the end of the tub with his eyes closed to slits, panting and moaning, not at all ashamed or afraid to show how much it pleasured him. He ran his hands over her breasts, caressing the nipples with his thumbs. Somehow, his attitude toward this act made her feel less self-conscious, and when Sam cradled her face with one hand, Kerry took it to her mouth, kissing his palm and then the pad of his thumb.

A small orgasm swept through her. "Sam," she mewled. It was almost like they were lovers.

This wasn't the time to be analyzing what was going on between them, but a few thoughts flitted across Kerry's mind, about how Sam was the youngest, or at least the youngest of the three children who were brought up together. His older siblings had been conditioned to take care of him, and he had been conditioned to take from them, to seek safety under their sheltering wing. But Sammy had always been more sensitive than that, offering things in return. The prize from the cereal box. The last cupcake. Love, understanding, and a bit of idol worship. Somehow, viewed in that context, Kerry understood why this was so intimate for him. There had always been a special, protective bond between the two of them that wasn't any less strong than the one she had with Dean, just different.

Soon, he was gripping her hips and pushing her down in a quicker rhythm than before, trying to go in deeper. The water in the tub churned around them. Kerry held on to Sam's shoulders, using them for leverage. She was unable to keep from moaning and crying out with his every upward thrust.

Caught up in their lovemaking, they both began to pant each other's names.

"Mmm, Kerry!" He cradled her face in his hand again.

She put her hand over his, rubbing her cheek against it and intertwining their fingers. "Sammy," she moaned helplessly.

Grunting and panting through his teeth, Sam pushed himself as deep within her as he could get, and came. The forceful motion brought Kerry to a second, harder orgasm. They spent a minute clutching one another, panting, moaning through it until the pleasure had faded. Sam enveloped her in his arms and she laid herself on his chest.

Dropping a kiss on her head, he asked, "How do you feel?"

"Not sure yet."

"We'll wait it out, then. See if your symptoms return."

That was an interesting way to refer to her desire to have sex with everyone in sight. 'Symptoms.' Kerry sighed. "Yeah."

Sam grabbed the shampoo off the little shelf next to the bathtub. "Let me wash your hair."

She laughed. "Sam, I can do it myself."

"But, can't I do it?" He frowned, looking especially boyish. "I just want to."

"Only if I can wash yours," Kerry chuckled back.

Sam grinned. "Okay."

The shelf next to the tub also contained a large cup, which he filled with water and poured over her head. She used her hands to work in the water while he watched it flow down over her naked body. Once Kerry's hair was sufficiently wet, she got him to lean up enough for her to douse his head, both of them laughing but not really knowing why, not at first. They both poured a small pool of shampoo into one hand and lathered up the other's head. That only brought on more chuckling. Kerry took the shampoo and squeezed it over Sam's head, drawing a spiral of blue in his soapy hair just for fun, and then lathered it up some more.

"You remember how when we were real little, we'd take a bath together?" she asked.

"Yeah. Eventually we got too old for it, but I do remember being about four and sharing a tub with you. That must've been hard for a single father, bathtime with three young kids."

"I can imagine." Kerry began to laugh harder. "Remember Dean was supposed to watch us, make sure we got behind the ears and shit, and he'd turn it into the entertainment hour?"

Laughing too, Sam nodded. "I still have no idea where he got all those dirty songs at such a young age."

While continuing to soap up his hair, she bobbed her head back and forth in tune with the song she began to sing. "Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap, bar of soap. Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap, bar of soap."

They sang together, "I'd go shiny, shiny, shiny, over everybody's hiney, oh I wish I was a little bar of soap, bar of soap."

"And he'd rub the towel over his pajama butt when he sang the 'shiny, shiny, shiny' part!" Sam said, actually giggling at the memory.

"That wasn't the worst one, though, although it seemed pretty dirty to little kids, huh?"

"Yeah. I know what the dirtiest one was." With a wicked grin, he began to sing a silly little song; she joined in once she figured out which one it was. "Doooooo yoooooour balls hang low, do they swing to and fro? Can you beat your meat on the toilet seat? Do you twang your wang with the rest of the gang? Do your balls. Hang. Low?"

They leaned against each other, giggling like little kids.

Kerry made a mohawk out of his hair, using the shampoo to get it to stand up. "It's starting again," she said, and looked down.

Touching her chin, rubbing his thumb over it, he replied, "That's okay," and filled the cup with water.

Sam knew this wouldn't be a one-time deal. He deliberately watched the suds as they ran down her body, forging trails between and around her breasts, to get himself worked up again.

Once they had rinsed their hair, they got out of the tub and toweled off as much as possible, Sam taking great care to dry off his stitches. Then he took a towel to bed to lay over the pillow, and took her to bed, too.

It was slow and loving, as it had been before, Kerry gripping his strong, muscular back as he glided into her, doing what was necessary to relieve the sexual tension between them. Their personal dynamic made things much different from how sex had been with Dean. Then, it had been like a job, something he had to do out of love, awkward and emotionally draining, but they had made the best of it. For Sam, it was more like a treasure he could only share with her under such extreme circumstances. They both knew that if it hadn't been for the incubus venom, this never would have happened, but as long as it was happening, it could be a unique way for them to share and show their love.

It wasn't like they hadn't experimented too, in their teenage years. But things had never gone this far. Somehow, it didn't seem so odd now.

Sam also had to put in multiple lovemaking sessions, taking Kerry in various positions just for variety, hoping one would be the one that satisfied her completely. They tried her facing him in his lap, which Sam especially liked because it meant they could kiss, long passionate kisses with Kerry running her fingers through his damp hair. Then they had her turn around, still sitting in Sam's lap, and they had sex front to back, Kerry leaning her head on his shoulder so they could kiss some more. He made sure to fondle her clit since it was so accessible, pinching and stroking it rapidly until she squealed.

Just after he came, Sam took her by the waist and threw her down on the bed, burying his face between Kerry's legs. He greedily gave her head, something he loved to do to women, something he knew would bring her much gratification. Kerry gasped in surprise, first when Sam threw her down on her back, and then at the first touch of his lips to her clitoris; the way he sucked and nipped at the quivering knob made her arch her back and nearly howl at how pleasurable it was.

These were the first sounds Castiel heard when he finally answered their calls.

The angel entered through the living room, appearing in a corner near one of Bobby's many bookshelves. He tilted his head quizzically at what Dean was doing.

Dean sat in the same chair. The leg cramp seemed to have lessened, and he was still in just his underwear, no longer complaining. Something wasn't right. Dean was using Sam's phone to flip through pornographic pictures on the Internet and rubbing himself through his underwear. His body was shaking.

"Dean?"

Dean jumped in the chair, dropping the phone and making a sound between a moan and a startled squeal. His eyes went wide when he saw Castiel. "Cas! Where have you..." He noticed the blood on Castiel's shirt and pant leg. "Are you okay?"

"I was involved in a skirmish with several demons. These wounds aren't that serious." Even so, Castiel was limping. "Why have you been calling for me?"

"So that's why you didn't come." Getting up, Dean helped Castiel over to the couch where he could sit down. Castiel declined, choosing instead to stand in front of it, still wanting to know what was happening. "Uh... I'm not sure how to explain this..."

"What's wrong with you?" the angel suddenly asked. "You seem to be in distress."

"Distress?"

"Your body is shaking and your temperature is up."

"Uh, I'm... not really sure what's wrong with me, Cas." Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. "Kerry did something, and I'm not sure how to explain it. She, uh, she drank this."

Castiel took the vial that Dean offered; it had been sitting on an endtable. When he smelled it, his eyes widened in shock. "This is the ejaculatory fluid of an incubus."

"Yeah."

"And you say she _drank_ this?"

"Yeah..."

For a moment, the angel could not speak. When Castiel found his voice again, he asked, "Why?"

"We don't know. But Kerry drank the whole vial."

Now Castiel did take a seat on the arm of the couch, a hand to his mouth. His cobalt blue eyes searched the open air as if he could find an answer there.

Dean saw how disturbed Castiel looked in reaction; he surmised that the angel must have an idea of what the incubus cum had done to Kerry, but he began explaining anyway. "She's just been going mad ever since, Cas. I mean stark raving..." He swallowed hard. "Kerry's out of her mind."

"You hoped I could do something."

"Yes."

With a nod, Castiel took stock of what had already happened, asking several questions. "How long has it been?"

"About twelve hours."

"Has she eaten anything?"

"Yeah. Some casserole."

Castiel nodded again. "That should help. The effects would be even worse if she didn't eat. What symptoms have you seen?"

Uncomfortable, Dean looked down. "Are you really going to make me say it, Cas?"

That seemed to tell him everything. "So she's been... acting erratically."

Dean almost laughed. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Constant sexual arousal."

He was glad Castiel was the one to say it and not him. "Oh yeah."

"What happens when Kerry's not getting the stimulation she craves?" Castiel asked.

Swallowing down a heavy lump of emotion, Dean replied with one word. "Pain."

"Is it intense?"

"Yes," he nearly whispered.

Castiel looked toward the hall, from which came the obvious sounds of lovemaking. "You've been seeing to it that she stays satisfied?"

"Uh huh."

He paused a long time, running through possibilities in his mind. "Who's in there... with her now?"

Dean gave him a look before doing a bit of stalling. He wasn't looking forward to telling Castiel the ugly truth. "First, we called Ruby - "

"_Ruby?_" the angel cried, disbelieving.

"Yeah. She's a demon, she knows a lot about demon-related things. And she, uh..."

That seemed to disturb Castiel a great deal; he put a hand over his mouth and just rubbed it back and forth over his lips and chin, deep regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner."

"Yeah, so are we. Um..." If Castiel had taken Ruby's involvement that hard... "Eventually, Ruby got annoyed with it and left. She said she'd come back and bring a... um, a machine Kerry could use to, ah... you know. But that was hours ago. So... Sam and I... had to..."

When Dean trailed off, Castiel looked up from his stunned stupor with his eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment; for one horrible moment, Dean thought he was going to ask him what he and Sam had been forced to do. Then the realization came into the angel's blue eyes and they became big and round with horror. "You... and Sam..." He pointed to the hallway and the rooms beyond.

Dean nodded, looking ten years younger. It was obvious the thought of what he'd done greatly disturbed him too, and he suddenly looked like a lost little boy. "We had to, Cas. You should have heard how she screamed in pain."

The regret came back into Castiel's eyes, an almost mournful look for what he felt was a personal failure. "You shouldn't of had to do that."

"Cas... is there anything you can do for my sister? Ruby said this could go on for _days_."

"There may be something, but..." Castiel limp-paced a small strip of the living room. "...it can't be what she really needs."

"What, you mean sex? You won't have sex with her?"

Castiel shook his head.

"But you did it with her before; what's the problem now?" Dean barked, suddenly angry and desperate.

"Dean, I made a promise to my vessel after that first encounter with Kerry. The vessel is married. I told him there would be no more sex without his consent, and only with his wife." Folding his hands in front of him, Castiel stood straight and firm to show he meant it. "I intend to keep my promise."

Dean crossed the room and took Castiel by the lapels of his coat, giving him a little shake. "You've got to change his mind. Cas, you have no idea... you've got to end this somehow. She _attacked_ us, Castiel. If you let Kerry sit around and not get some sort of stimulation for even a minute, she'll practically rip your fucking clothes off! You haven't seen the wild look in her eye when she gets like that. She growls like a motherfucking _animal_. How can you just sit back and not do anything about it?"

Trying to be gentle but authoritative, Castiel pried Dean's hands from his coat and placed them back by Dean's sides. "I didn't say I wouldn't do anything about it. We'll figure something out. But, unfortunately, that's only one problem we have to solve right now."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like I said when I first entered - there's something wrong with you." Castiel, taking hold of Dean's head at the temple, carefully pushed up one of his eyelids to peer deeply into his crystal green eye. Then he sighed and took his hand down. "You're infected with the incubus venom."

"What? How?"

"Through Kerry's bodily fluids. You came in intimate contact with them and some of the venom passed through your skin." Castiel looked him over. "The concentration you've received isn't nearly as significant as what Kerry ingested, but it's enough to be worrisome."

"Holy shit," Dean exclaimed. "Then Sam's probably infected now too."

"I would imagine so."

"So what happens now? Sam and I are going to go crazy and rape the whole city?"

"That's what I hope to prevent," Castiel replied.

"Oh yeah? And how?"

Hobbling back to the couch, he sat on its arm and thought a moment before replying. "First, I must heal my injuries. Then I will receive Revelation."

Dean caught himself looking at the curve of Castiel's hip when he sat down and his coat fell aside. He started to lick his lips, but instead shook his head in an attempt to clear it. This wasn't good. "Okay, well, could you hurry it up a bit?"

Chapter 9: Cobalt Blue and Wings of Grey

**Word Count this Chapter:** 3,321

The more time that went on with Castiel just sitting quietly on the couch with his eyes closed, hands folded together in front of him, the better he was looking to Dean. Better and better. Dean noticed every little thing about him that could be constituted as sexy or even cute. The slightly mussed hair, the adorable little lines around his eyes, the curve of his back and hips in all that clothing he wore... Dean even thought his hands and fingers were sexy.

_"Why am I thinking like this?"_ he wondered to himself, _"And why am I not more worried about it?"_ Dean didn't consider himself gay or even bisexual, but here he was, practically drooling over another guy.

It was the venom. It _had_ to be. Damn it, Kerry! What had she done to them all? "Hey, you almost through over there?" Dean asked.

Clearly annoyed, Castiel sighed and opened his eyes. "Not entirely."

"I guess it's hard to receive that Revelation thing when there's all this stuff going on, huh?"

"It's much easier when I'm not interrupted, yes."

Dean realized Cas meant _his_ interruption. "Sorry," he said, and added, "Meeeow."

Taking a moment to compose himself, Castiel put a hand to his mouth, just thinking. "It's alright, I was about done anyway. I have proposed your problem to some of the other angels, and - "

"You told other angels about our problem?"

"Yes."

Dean rolled his eyes. "I don't want the other angels to know about this!"

"I'm sorry, but it's too late."

"Son of a bitch, they're probably up there laughing their asses off at us right now," he sighed. "If angels have asses."

"Dean, do you want to hear this or not?" Castiel asked, getting impatient.

"Yeah, go on, go on."

"Alright. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a way to speed up the process that doesn't involve the use of my vessel in ways contrary to the promises I have made. I could render Kerry unconscious for an extended period, but that would only slow down the process of ridding her system of the poison. Still, that was their best solution."

"So what you're telling me is, Kerry would have to be unconscious for days?"

"It could be weeks, really. Maybe months."

Shaking his head, Dean said, "No. I'm not doing that to her when what we're currently doing works so much faster. I mean, we've already started this... why not finish it?"

"You may be right. If I have to do it to Kerry, I'll eventually be forced to put you and Sam under too." Leaning forward, Castiel asked, "Dean, are you ready to have sex with your sister over and over until this is done?"

Dean chewed on a fingernail. "I don't want to. But if you won't do it..." A determined look came to his face, and he got up out of his chair, grabbing Castiel's arm. "If you're not going to do this, then you're going to be the one to go in there and tell Kerry why."

Castiel allowed Dean to pull him along, but he protested all the way down the hall. The sounds of moaning and bedsprings creaking became louder and louder the closer they got to the guest room. "Dean, she won't understand. Kerry will beg and cry and I don't want to see it."

"Of course you don't; we've only had to deal with it for the last twelve hours."

"Dean, it's not only up to me!"

Dean threw the door open. Castiel saw what he couldn't unsee, but tried to close his eyes quickly anyway. Sam and Kerry were on their sixth lovemaking session, him on top of her and Kerry's legs wrapped around his waist, the two lying across the bed. Her arms were up over her head, Sam holding both of her hands; they kissed deeply, so deeply that Castiel could hardly look at them without feeling such a forlorn melancholy that not even he could understand it fully. "The way you sacrifice for each other..." he remarked, a hand over his eyes.

Sam and Kerry heard his voice, and looked his way. "Castiel," Kerry said, her voice a mixture of relief and confusion.

"Where have you been?" Sam panted.

Castiel just stared as Sam was looking at and talking to him, but his hips continued thrusting, his cock sliding ever so gently in and out of his own sister. The motions had become that automatic.

Dean started to talk, but even he choked up and turned away. "Cas, he... uh... he has something to... to say..." A few thrusts, a moan from his sister's mouth, and Dean could watch no more. "When you're done, Sam, come into the hall," he managed, and closed the door.

Castiel slid down the wall into a crouching position, his head in his hands. "Oh... God, give me strength to keep my promise," he mumbled to himself.

Shortly after, both men cringed when the moans reached a frenzied pitch and Sam and Kerry cried out each other's names. Dean put his hands over his ears. "They can't help it," he told himself.

Sam came to the door with his jeans on, sweaty and still panting a bit. "Cas, where have you been?"

"I was involved in a skirmish with demons."

"I'm glad you're here now. Kerry needs you. She's absolutely exhausted." Now Sam grew sheepish at what he was saying, what he'd been doing, knowing from Castiel's expression that he was shocked at what he'd seen. "I'm not sure how much longer I could have held out... my lower back was starting to spasm, and..." He looked down at the floor.

The door wasn't all the way closed; they could hear Kerry panting tiredly on the bed.

"Sam, I'm... I'm sorry, but I can't," Castiel replied.

Looking up, Sam said, "What? Why not?"

Castiel explained about the promise he'd made to his vessel. From inside the room, Kerry cried, "My Bible! Bring me the Bible I marked!"

Dean pushed the door open. "What, Kerry?"

"Get the Bible I marked with the sticky notes!" She had covered herself up with the sheets.

Sam got the Bible of which she spoke and brought it to her. "Why do you want this now?"

"Cas, come here," she commanded.

Bewildered, the angel entered the room and sat on the other bed.

"Since you told me we couldn't be together again because of your vessel, I have been searching the Bible for passages that relate to our situation, and I think I can convince him to change his mind," Kerry explained, beginning to flip through the book.

"I doubt that," Castiel replied.

"Just let me try, okay?" She found the passage she was looking for and began to read. "Make sure your vessel is listening. _For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart._ Hebrews, 4:12. You know what that means, don't you?"

"I am familiar with the words of the holy scripture..."

"Okay, then you know that there is a distinct difference between the flesh and the soul. No matter what a person does with their body, it's what is in their heart that really matters. What's the vessel's name?"

"James Novak," Castiel replied. "Everyone calls him Jimmy."

"Jimmy," Dean chuckled. "You don't look like a Jimmy."

"Alright, Jimmy. You don't want to cheat on your wife, but no one can make you do that unless you want to in your heart." Kerry suddenly winced, holding her midsection. "Your body is just a vessel for the soul. What the body does, it doesn't mean the soul does it too. It says here..." She flipped through the pages. "...in Romans 7:20 through 25, _...if I do what I do not wish, it is no longer I who do it, but the sin that dwells in me. Therefore, when I wish to do good I discover this law, namely, that evil is at hand for me. For I am delighted with the law of God according to the inner man, but I see another law in my members, warring..._" Wincing, Kerry doubled over, beginning to pant again. "_...warring against the law of my mind..._"

Realizing the pain was coming back, Sam sat on the bed next to his sister and put an arm around her; he held the other side of the book and read. "_For I am delighted with the law of God according to the inner man, but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? The grace of God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with my flesh the law of sin._

"Does Jimmy understand what she's trying to say here, Cas?"

Castiel suddenly blurted, "I don't appreciate the word of God being used against me!" He shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the bed, trying to regain his composure.

"But it is the word of your God," Dean pointed out.

Forcing the words out, Kerry said, "Jimmy is a Christian, isn't he?"

Castiel nodded.

"Then he understands that a Christian can only sin in the flesh and not necessarily of the mind, the heart, just like this part says. He's been saved by Jesus Christ. His body is being used to serve God by the inhabitance of an _angel_. Does he want to do everything you do, Castiel?"

"No..." Castiel admitted reluctantly.

"But he does it, doesn't he? Jimmy, you allow Cas complete control of your body. You gave that willingly. And if Castiel did something against God's word, like Uriel did, it wouldn't mean that Uriel's vessel would suffer too. That man's soul has already been saved. Even if Cas uses your body to make love to someone else, it doesn't mean you are doing it as well." Kerry stopped to hold her stomach and whine like a child with a bad tummyache. "The two of you are distinctly separate, as is your soul from your flesh. You're holding onto your own body too hard, giving it too much significance, when it's your soul that really matters to God... and to your wife."

Castiel thought about that a long time; Kerry hoped he was having an inward conversation with his vessel. Finally, he said, "Jimmy doesn't like seeing you suffer. He said he will allow it as long as I push him deep down in his subconscious, where he can't perceive what's happening."

Kerry breathed out in relief, repeating, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," gratefully.

Castiel continued. "He said he will not have sex with you, only I will, that he is faithful to his wife, and that he knows he is separate from his flesh, which is sinful even without his presence." The angel paused, a regretful, sad look coming over his features. "But I cannot have sex with you either."

Everyone froze in disbelief; they had all thought they were home free. "Why not?" Kerry groaned.

"Because I am an angel," he replied. "Angels have fallen for mating with human women. I will not forsake the grace of God again."

Kerry reached between the beds and took hold of his hand. "I'm not asking you to mate with me, Cas. Just to make love to me."

Although it was obvious how much he wanted to give in, Castiel shook his head. "I have never felt so guilty without committing a sin," he said quietly.

Desperately, Kerry flipped through the Bible, pointing to a passage and indicating that she wanted Sam to read it. He read it over and grinned. "_For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord._ Romans, 8:38 and 39." Putting the book down, Sam added, "Not even your own might could separate you from the love of God, Castiel. He will understand that you did it to help us and not to forsake Him."

"Yeah, Cas, I mean..." Dean began, "it's not like you're shacking up with Kerry, gettin' married and having babies with her like those other angels did."

Tilting his head, Castiel looked at Dean as if he wasn't sure he heard him right. "Shacking up?"

"You know what I mean. You and Kerry aren't in love or anything."

Before anyone could think too deeply about Dean's statement, Kerry squeezed Castiel's hand once more. "Please," she begged.

He could see the pain in her eyes. It hurt him deeply to know he could end that pain right now, but ancient tradition should keep him from it. "Do you really think God would understand that even angels sin?" Castiel asked.

All three Winchesters nodded their heads.

"Then... alright. Alright." Castiel took her hand in both of his, cradling her shaking fingers. "I want you to understand that I don't condone or understand what you did. But, I will end your suffering here and now."

So grateful just to hear him say it, Kerry started to climb his chest, gripping his coat tightly in her fingers. "Cas... Cas..." she breathed, and almost fell off her own bed from leaning across the space between them. Looking at her sadly, Castiel caught her and lifted her back onto the other bed, fixing the covers around her naked body.

"You two better leave," he said to Sam and Dean, and the brothers filed out into the hall, leaving the door ajar.

"Why aren't you closing the door?" Sam asked.

Dean realized that Sam's hands were beginning to shake. "There's something I have to tell you," he began.

Castiel leaned over Kerry on the bed, kissing her mouth and stroking her hair. She became frantic again, pulling at his coat, trying to get it off. He couldn't stand to hear those animalistic sounds coming out of her mouth, so he took hold of her face and made her look into his eyes. "Shhh, shhhh, calm down, it's okay," Castiel said, rubbing his thumbs soothingly over her cheekbones. The growls calmed back to breathy grunts, and she slowly stopped yanking at his clothing.

Castiel removed the coat, then the suitcoat, and then pulled at the knot in his tie. Kerry instantly jumped up on her knees on the bed and began to help him remove it. When they both got to the shirt buttons, the growling started again. "Calm down, it's only a matter of time," he said, like he was talking to a frightened child.

But Kerry could not wait, and Castiel was only half undressed when she unbuckled his belt and opened it, going then for the button and zipper. His pants dropped to his knees, followed by his underwear. He knelt on the bed in only his undone shirt with the tie wrapped loosely around his neck while Kerry surveyed how vulnerable he looked, wondering who was in control this time. She took hold of the loose ends of the tie and pulled him down on top of her.

They kissed for a bit; Castiel whispered to her when their lips were not touching, and sometimes when they were, just barely. "We're going to do something that we haven't done before. Don't be scared. It's the only way."

"Will it hurt?"

"Exactly the opposite."

After another minute of kissing and rolling about in each other's arms, Castiel put his hands on the underside of her thighs, gently pulling them further apart. He moved deeper in between them and put the head of his cock to her entrance; Kerry mewled at the feeling of him slowly sliding inside. "Castiel," she moaned.

He ran his fingers into her hair, caressing the side of her head. "Kerry," he said back. Everything about his tone suggested how concerned he was for her and how much he wanted her to stop hurting herself. She had no idea how she could know all that from one word, but Kerry knew. She could see it every time she looked into his eyes.

They made love, joined together in a slow dance of passion, their hips meeting with simultaneous thrusts. When Kerry's moans began to reach a more frantic pace, Castiel locked eyes with her. "Don't be afraid," he whispered again. "I won't hurt you." He waved a hand before her eyes, whispering something in Enochian.

Kerry felt an intense orgasm building between her legs. Even as Castiel moved, all she could see were his eyes; it was like swimming in a sea of cobalt blue. Everywhere she looked, eyes, four, now six of them, all gorgeous cobalt blue, pinning her to the bed as the orgasm grew. And then suddenly, it was upon her, and Kerry was climaxing, but it was more intense than she could have anticipated, a definite multiple orgasm that struck her dumb for she knew not how long. Pleasure exploded along every nerve ending, and she became aware that she was screaming herself hoarse, and her arms were repeatedly pounding against the bed as if she was convulsing her way through these orgasms that just would not end. She could hear herself crying out, "Castiel! Ohhh, Castiel! Yes, yes, yes! Caaaaasssss!" Then there were grayish white wings all around the bed, like a canopy, like a veil, those blue eyes and wings and that was all she could see.

Dean and Sam had been sitting in the hall, shaking all over, trying not to just give in and masturbate to their heart's content. When they heard Kerry's overwhelmed cries, they got up and tried to enter the room to find out what the hell could be happening to make her react so dramatically and for so long. Dean pushed on the door, but something that looked like a large bird wing suddenly blocked it and slammed it shut. Both men gasped in surprise.

The high-pitched whine that had accompanied Castiel's previous attempt to speak with Dean in his real voice sounded from the room. It was not as loud, but it did make Sam and Dean's ears ring. "Don't come in yet," Castiel called, in both voices. "You can't see me." Bright light streamed from under the door.

"What about Kerry?" Sam yelled.

"Her eyes have been veiled," came the musical reply.

Kerry continued to cry out as if she was having the best orgasm of her life, times one hundred. A full minute passed before she began to calm down, and the intense light to fade. Eventually, she was just letting out hoarse little moans, occasionally saying the angel's name. "Castiel... Castiel... Castiel..."

Kerry saw his face, the human face of his vessel, as he dropped a little kiss on her lips. Then she fainted.

Sam and Dean came in just as Castiel was laying her out on the bed and putting the covers over her. He looked like his regular self, wings nowhere in sight. "Is she okay?" Dean asked.

"Yes. She will sleep now, probably for a good twelve hours or more. The demon venom has been burned from her system." Castiel looked back at them. "There will be no lingering negative effects on her body."

Both men were relieved and grateful, tears pricking at their eyes. "Thank you, Cas."

"We know you didn't have to do that."

"It's alright. I made a decision to see this through." With a weary sigh, Castiel sat on the edge of Kerry's bed, his remaining clothes all rumpled. "Now there's the matter of you two."


	4. Chp 10 thru 12

**Tuck Those Ribbons Under Your Helmet, Chps 10-12**  
A _Supernatural_ Fic  
by Laurel (Sailorhathor)

**Rating:** Adult17+  
**Pairings:** Winsister/Castiel, Winsister/Ruby, Winsister/Dean, Winsister/Sam, Winsister/Adam (in a dream), Sam/Castiel/Dean  
**Dates:** Written September 2010  
**Word Count:** 35,896  
**Summary:** Winsister AU. The hunting life isn't easy on anyone. For Kerry Winchester, it may be too much. The worst, though, was being in love with a multi-dimensional wavelength that may not ever love her back.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for most of season 4 and the first few episodes of season 5. Incest, Het, Femmeslash, and Slash. Sex venom (similar to sex pollen), dub-con, brief non-con, fisting, sex toys, vanilla bondage, use of the Bible in a way that some would probably consider blasphemy, simulated scarfing, and mention of underage Wincest. This is not the "nice" Ruby from season 4, but Ruby with her season 3 personality, and then some. She is very much a demon. In fact, I imagine the Ruby in this story looking like Katie Cassidy all the way through.  
**Beta Thanks:** Thanks as always to Sammie for the wonderful beta!  
**Author's Notes:** Title comes from the Tori Amos song "Mother." Abridged version of a longer story (which I'll eventually write out to the end).

Chapter 10: Merciful Bliss

**Word Count this Chapter:** 2,055

The brothers stared at Castiel, wondering if he meant what they thought he meant. "What about us?" Dean dared to ask.

"You've both been infected with the venom. But, you know that." He stood and removed his tie and then the shirt, standing before them naked. "I must do the same for you."

"What exactly did you do?" asked Sam.

"I multiplied her orgasm by one hundred. It burned out the venom."

"One... hundred, wow." Dean licked his lips, running a hand over his cheek. "I'd like to feel a thing like that."

"I don't think it will take something quite as dramatic for the smaller amount that you two have in your systems, but I'm sure you will find it pleasurable," Castiel assured them.

Sam shivered all over at the way the word "pleasurable" sounded coming from Castiel's mouth.

"There's really nothing else I can do in this situation. The venom must be burned from your bodies."

"You don't have some sort of... problem with this?" Dean questioned. "I mean, we're all men."

Frowning, Sam turned and punched him in the arm. "Why'd you have to bring that up?"

"It's alright, Sam." Castiel addressed Dean. "You have forgotten the lesson you taught me. I am not this vessel. I am an angel. I identify as male, but in line with human definitions of what makes a person male, I don't quite fit. Jimmy is not the only member of his family whom I could use as a vessel. It is a bloodline, and I could just as easily inhabit a female relative as a male relative.

"What I'm trying to tell you is, the sin of myself having sex with you is no different than the sin I just committed with your sister. It is only an angel-human coupling in the eyes of the universe."

"But what about Jimmy?" Sam asked.

It was Dean's turn to punch Sam in the arm. "Who's bringing up the cockblocking shit now?"

"Stop hitting each other!" Castiel suddenly cried, looking from one man to the other. He sighed and continued. "I have access to Jimmy's mind, and I know from my knowledge of his life that he has a homosexual brother. He loves his brother, and he's made peace with the idea of two men being in love and how it is forbidden in the Bible. That is between each person and God. Having a gay brother has given him a unique perspective on the issue that many people do not have, and through that, he would only look at this as adultery, if we had not had our previous discussion."

"But... what if it weirds me out, the idea of having sex with you in a guy's body?" Dean said. He fidgeted nervously; it was obvious that he wanted to give in, but a shred of his normal sexual appetites held him back.

"You can't help it, Dean. The venom is irresistible," Castiel pointed out. When Dean still looked uncomfortable, he added, "I won't hold it against you."

For some reason, that cryptic little comment seemed to satisfy him and Dean smiled in relief. "Oh," he said. "So, how come you didn't blow out the windows this time?"

"I didn't climax," Castiel replied.

"Damn, that kind of control must be nice. Wish I had it," Dean said, again, fidgeting awkwardly.

They were all silent for a moment. "Should we get started?" Castiel asked.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You can't just say it like that, 'Should we get started?' That's so awkward. You gotta be smooth, like - "

Sam blurted, "Well if you're not going to," and rushed at Castiel, taking him by the chin and kissing him hard on the lips.

"Hey, save some for me!" Dean cried.

They put Castiel in between them, and it became a sea of hands and lips as both Dean and Sam caressed the angel all over, stroking his cock, fondling his ass, rubbing his chest and shoulders, and kissing his lips and neck, more because they wanted to, not because they felt he really needed any help to get in the mood. Sam, eventually winding up behind Castiel, dropped a few kisses on his shoulder, working his way up his neck to his ear, and kissed there, sucking on his earlobe. Dean took Castiel by the behind and pulled him up against him, stroking their cocks together and moaning needily. They kissed all the way down to the bed, Castiel on top of Dean and Sam right behind them.

"Cas... is it... is it okay if I..." Panting, Sam rubbed his cock in the split of Castiel's ass.

Between kisses, Castiel answered, "Please do."

"Do I need to... should I get something...?"

"No need," the angel assured.

Sam kept forgetting this was no ordinary sexual encounter. Longingly, he rubbed Castiel's behind for a bit longer, lingering over how good he knew it was going to feel.

In the meantime, Castiel and Dean kissed, long, dirty kisses, their hands joined around their cocks as they stroked together. Although he had no intention of actually fucking Dean - the memory would be too traumatic, too intimate for Dean's sometimes fragile masculinity - Castiel did spread Dean's legs, laying between them to allow him better access, so they could stroke against each other fully. Dean threw his head back and moaned.

Sam watched Castiel as he began that thrusting motion, rocking against Dean's crotch, and it made him want to fuck too. "You'll cum this time, won't you, Cas?" he asked, putting his thumbs on the edges of that tight ring of muscle and parting it, holding it open. "We want to see you cum."

"Yeah," Dean breathed. "Show us what it looks like when you have an orgasm."

"So curious," Castiel said to himself, sounding far more wolfish than ever before. "Alright. But you'll have to explain the windows."

Sam pushed his cock into that tight hole, just the head of it, and sucked in his breath. "We'll explain the windows," he forced out, and then slid himself further in. "Ahh, you're _tight_."

Castiel spread his legs a bit in order to allow Sam full access. Dean's legs came up and wrapped around Castiel's hips, his calves touching the backs of Sam's thighs. In order to slide himself all the way in, Sam had to take hold of Castiel's sides to brace himself, and soon he could feel his balls touching Castiel's warm behind. Both men sighed in ecstasy. When Sam pulled back and slid himself in again, he growled out an, "Oh!" not moving for a few seconds just so he could feel the tightness of the muscles flexing around his cock.

"Fuck 'im, Sammy," Dean moaned. "I wanna get off watching you do it."

The two brothers watched each other's faces as they all got a simultaneous rhythm going, Castiel acting as the cog between them. If it hurt Castiel, he didn't show it, and again, Sam had to remind himself that it wasn't like having sex with a normal person. They all moaned and touched and bucked their hips until the motion grew fast and frantic.

"Oh, Castiel!" Sam cried. He could feel his climax approaching, and grabbed Castiel's hips, pulling him into his every thrust.

"Uhh, Cas! Cas!" Dean moaned, helpless to do anything but ride this out.

He gasped when Castiel grunted, and the angel's eyes began to glow with a white, ethereal light. Castiel waved a hand above their heads; their eyes instantly went to it, and he whispered that same Enochian phrase.

The Winchesters had stewed long enough. With a mischievous smile on her face, Ruby wondered what condition Kerry would be in when she entered the bedroom with the fucking machine in her bag. The brothers had probably had no choice but to fuck her. What delicious angst that must be causing! Ruby couldn't wait to see their faces.

When she popped herself into Bobby's house, she found the living room empty. But someone was moaning, crying out, from the bedroom. It sounded like Sam... _and_ Dean. Oh _boy_, it was even juicier than Ruby could have hoped for! A Winchester threesome! The only thing that could be better than that would be using the fucking machine on all three of them.

Ruby opened the door to the guest bedroom. "I'm back, and I brought the - " The first thing she saw as she began to speak was Kerry, out like a light in her bed, a huge grin on her face. Then she turned her head to the left and gawked in disbelief. "Oh SNAP."

Sam was _fucking_ the angel! His head was thrown back, the most deliciously needy look of passion on his face. And there was Dean, under Castiel, getting off too! Even in the wildest, dirtiest scenarios she could have conjured up, Ruby never would have thought she'd ever find them like _that!_ She stood there with her mouth hanging open, struck dumb, until she realized what was about to happen.

Blobs of light were forming on Castiel's back. His wings were again shifting from another dimension to manifest in theirs. The angel had veiled the boys' eyes so they wouldn't be blown out by this small glimpse of his true form, but if Ruby looked at him... "HELL no," she exclaimed, and scurried back out the door.

"Huh?" Sam turned his head and caught a glimpse of her closing the door. Then the world turned white before his eyes.

Ruby covered her ears and dove for the floor as the light exploded from under the door. A wave of energy passed over her, temporarily scrambling everything in her head, hurting her, oh such _agony_, how it clawed deep into the demon part of her being. She was dimly aware of the sound of exploding glass and exploding Winchesters as Dean and Sam came and came and came, crying out in endless ecstasy. Ruby tried to concentrate on that sound; it was better than the angelic voice that also sang in passion - that voice was like a knife scraping off bits of her flesh, cutting, cutting, cutting. She convulsed on the floor of the hall, her ears bleeding.

Sam could not see, could only feel soft feathers brushing, caressing his face as he climaxed, and there seemed to be no end to it; it just went on and on in merciful bliss. Dean experienced the same thing. He felt strong hands moving him up the bed, saw Castiel's blue eyes multiplied threefold, swimming before his face. Another body, Sam's body, was laid next to his, and then a delicate hand stroked both their cheeks before a kiss was planted on each forehead.

When the light calmed back, Castiel was looming over the bed on his wings, arms spread out. It was one of the most beautiful sights either man had ever seen. The wings faded and Castiel drifted to the bed, a hand on each of their chests. They could hardly move from exhaustion, but it was a good, relaxing sensation.

Dean realized his chest was streaked with cum. Before he could do anything about it, Castiel began to lick it off until his chest was clean. Dean watched as he then did the same for Sam, whose cock was sticky with it. Sam moaned helplessly at the way it felt, and Dean thought he could probably get hard again just watching that, but neither man got hard; they were spent for the evening. Castiel ended things off right by giving Sam, then Dean, a long, deep kiss on the mouth.

"Feels... like floating..." Dean mumbled.

"It's nice," Sam added as Castiel covered their nude bodies with the blankets.

"Sleep now," the angel said. They did, almost immediately.

Castiel put his trench coat on over his naked body and tied the belt to keep it closed. He opened the door to find Ruby shaking on the floor. "Now, don't you wish you'd come back a little sooner... or a little later?" he asked, and simply moved her legs so they wouldn't block the door.

Going back in the room, Castiel took a seat on the lounging chair and sat back to rest. He watched over his charges in silence for the rest of the night.

Chapter 11: Intervention

**Word Count this Chapter:** 1,553

Rested, dressed, and fed, Dean shook his head at the shattered window before him, then walked to the next one, which was also broken. "How are we ever going to explain this to Bobby?" he wondered.

Sam was sweeping up some of the glass. "What I want to know is, how did Cas manage to break _every_ window in the house, even the ones on the second floor?"

Castiel brought a bowl of soup to Ruby, who was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, part of it even covering her head like a cloak. She looked as pale and shaky as a person with a particularly bad cold. "Here you go."

Ruby took the soup and scowled at him. "Get away from me," she snapped.

"My, aren't we grumpy," he said, a little smile tickling at the corners of his mouth.

As Dean did in most cases where he felt awkward and at a loss for words, he treated this situation with humor, approaching Castiel and saying, "Heavens, Cas, look what you did to these windows. I had no idea you were such a stud." He began to gyrate his hips toward the angel, a hand on the back of his head. "I'm just a love machine, and I won't work for nobody but you, yeah baby, a hugging, kissing fiend..." Dean sang. When Castiel furrowed his brow and moved away a bit, Dean followed, still dancing lewdly in front of him. "Hey, you're finally learning about personal space," he remarked, noticing that it made Castiel uncomfortable.

"Yes, I guess I am." He was grateful when Dean finally stopped.

As Kerry got the worst of it, she was the last one to wander into the living room, still looking pretty worn out. She glanced sheepishly at her brothers and then Castiel, and sat down in a chair.

They could all tell Kerry had no idea what to say. Before Dean could take the chance to start in on her, Sam cut in. "Hey Kerr, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," she said, and then mumbled, "Physically."

Sam didn't really want this to turn into an intervention, but knew it was inevitable, and as he really had nothing else to say, he just fell silent and waited with a sympathetic look in his eyes. Dean's face had turned to stone, angry and cold. He crossed his arms and leaned against Bobby's desk. "Kerry."

"Yeah?"

Taking a deep breath, Dean let it out slowly. "Tell me again what you did."

She knew he was angry, and knew it wouldn't help to pretend that she didn't know what he was talking about. "I drank a vial of incubus cum from Dad's storage locker."

There was a long pause as Dean tried to take all that in for a second time. "I want you to tell me _why_."

Kerry shrank away from the utter disbelief in his voice; she pulled her legs up under her in the chair. "I was hurting over Adam's death and I didn't want to think about it anymore. Nothing I did could make me feel any better or any less guilty about it. It just hurt too much." Her eyes darted to Castiel for a moment, then back down at the floor. "I'm not saying that Cas was at all at fault, but... he wouldn't comfort me. Not in the way I wanted him to."

Tilting his head, Castiel looked at her, frowning slightly.

"When I saw the vial, I thought maybe it would make me feel better, that it would get me high. That I'd feel good and Cas might find me sexy again."

Now Castiel's expression became full of sympathy and a bit of sorrow for her.

Kerry finished, "So I just took it and I drank it." She looked up at Dean. "If I'd had any idea what would happen, that the reaction would be so strong..."

"How could you do something so _stupid_, Kerry?" Dean yelled. Sam jumped a little at the sudden outburst. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Yeah, _now_," he said, and began to pace the room while he ranted at her. "Do you have any idea what you've done? We all have to keep working together and now things are going to be awkward. How do you expect us to just get past this?"

"I didn't know what would happen!" Kerry cried. Tears came to her eyes. "I didn't want to hurt anybody, I just needed the pain to stop! I just hoped it would make Castiel want me again." Pulling her knees up to her chest, she put her forehead down on them and began to weep. "Do you think I wanted to have sex with my own brothers? Do you think I wanted it to go that far?"

"Of course not, but..." Her tears almost moved him to stop, but Dean shook it off; he had to be tough on her. "Kerry, this isn't the first time you've done something like this. What do we have to say to get you to understand that it has to stop? You have to stop!"

"Dean, this is a hard life. Traveling the country, hunting evil... the constant injuries, seeing people die... day in and day out, people _die_, Dean. Right in front of us! How am I supposed to deal with that?"

At a loss for what to suggest, Dean gave it some thought. "I don't know. There has to be a better way than drinking everything in Dad's storage lockers."

"Great, so I should have too much beer every day like you do?"

Dean was instantly angry again. "Don't even try that shit, Kerry. There's a big difference between having a few beers and _ingesting demonic spooge so you wind up fucking everybody in the house!_"

Cringing, Sam said, "Dean, come on..." He wondered if Dean's reaction would be just as strong when he found out about the demon blood.

Kerry hid her face against her knees again, sobbing. "Sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"You bet your ass you shouldn't have said that. Me drinking alcohol doesn't even come _close_ to what you did."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Dean wasn't finished yet. "What do we have to do, Kerry? What do we have to do to make you understand how much it hurts us when you _hurt yourself?_ Huh?" He walked up to her and took her arm, trying to get her to look at him. "Tell me, what is it going to take?"

Kerry shook off his hand. "I don't know. I don't know, okay? If I knew, then I wouldn't have done it in the first place."

"What you did was insane."

She collapsed into heavy sobs. "I know. I know it was crazy." Looking up at him, Kerry promised, "I'll never do anything like that again. I'm sorry, Dean. I just thought it would be a way for Castiel and I to have a little fun."

Glancing from one anguished face to another, Dean replied, "Doesn't look like anybody had any fun, Kerr."

Ruby had been listening, slurping up big spoonfuls of chicken noodle soup. She said, "I had fun," and snorted.

Everyone stared at her in disbelief. A beat of silence and Kerry was on top of her, angrily punching Ruby in the face.

Sam, astonished, started to go to them, but Dean put an arm out to stop him. The sound of Ruby grunting and Kerry screaming in fury with every blow was music to his ears. "Let her work it out," he said, and smiled.

Later that day, the adrenaline of beating Ruby in the face had worn off and Kerry was left with her guilt over what had happened. She curled up on the bed, a blank stare on her face. The knuckles of her punching hand had swollen to the point that Kerry needed an ice pack to soothe the ache in them. No matter how much she beat the snarky demon, the horrible things Ruby had said had been true. Kerry did want to have sex with her own brothers, and even though it had been the fault of the incubus venom, that didn't change that it was the truth. She started to cry again.

Dean came into the room, instantly feeling bad for her and going to his sister's side. "Come on, Kerr. You don't have to keep crying about it. We'll get past this. Castiel seems to have already shaken it off, even when I sang 'Love Gun' in his face."

She tried to laugh, but just couldn't stop sobbing. "I'm sorry, I just can't help but think that I've damaged our relationship for good."

"Kerry... I'm still pretty mad at you, but we'll always be buddies, okay?" Dean tried to get her to look at him, to catch her eye with a funny face. "You're still my best girl."

"Then, you... you haven't stopped loving me?" she wept.

His face fell, and this time, he made sure she looked up into his eyes. "Kerry, nothing could ever make me stop loving you. You're my little sis. Okay?" Dean put his arms around her. "You're my Kerr-Bear."

She hugged him back, sobbing on his shoulder. "I love you too, Dean."

Chapter 12: Sacrifices

**Word Count this Chapter:** 1,296

It was two weeks later that they found out about Sam and the demon blood.

Suddenly, everything made sense about how Sam had acted toward Kerry during her own bout with the effects of demonic fluids on the human body. No wonder he had been so caring and understanding. Kerry stayed with him the entire time he was in Bobby's panic room, detoxing from what the repeated exposure had done to his body. Even when Dean tried to get her to come out, saying that she was coddling him, that Sam needed tough love, Kerry stayed in, mopping the sweat from Sam's face and simply cradling him while he screamed, out of his mind. Sam had not left her when she was in the same condition - she would not leave him.

She only wished she could have been the one to sink the knife in Ruby's gut, but Dean got that privilege.

And then there had been the Apocalypse to deal with, the slow-moving, but devastating Apocalypse. Wherever it struck, it struck hard, wiping out entire towns, showering down rains of fire and laying waste to any hunters who tried to stand in the way. And there had been shocking revelations. Dean, the vessel of an archangel? The most powerful archangel, Michael? Kerry could hardly believe it. Someone she had watched grow up, who was proud of being able to burp his entire name, the vessel of a powerful angelic being?

Then there had been the estrangement between Sam and Dean. There was no way she could go with Sam, she knew that; he needed his time alone. And of course, they had reunited - there was no way of separating them forever, Kerry knew that, she knew it all along no matter how stubborn Dean had been about it. But the things they now knew... they were devastating.

Sam, the vessel of Lucifer. That was even harder to believe than what they knew about Dean. Kerry couldn't even wrap her mind around the fact that destiny wanted her two brothers to accept the warring angels into their bodies and fight to the death. It was insane. How was she supposed to accept that?

They decided to take a little vacation afterward. Out to Big Sur, to look at the stars and listen to the waves crash against the cliffs. Nothing could touch them out here.

Her brothers were sitting on the hood of the Impala, drinking beer and looking up at the stars, just as they'd planned. Trying to find the various constellations Sam was pointing out.

"That doesn't look like a bear," Dean said.

"You have to use your imagination."

"Is that its paw, right there?"

"Yeah, that's a paw. And there's the head, see?" Sam pointed with the bottle in his fingers.

"Ohhh." Squinting, Dean remarked, "Where's its butt?"

Kerry walked off into a nearby group of tall trees, several yards from the car. She leaned against one, just listening, eyes closed. Even without seeing him, she knew Castiel was there from the rustle of his trench coat. "Can you believe it's true, Cas? My brothers, the vessels of archangels?"

He leaned against the tree across from the one she had chosen. "I should have seen it. I should have known."

"Oh, Cas... how could you have known? And what difference would it have made anyway?"

"I don't know. It's just... this is so serious, Kerry. I'm supposed to be a guardian." Castiel looked up at the night sky. "God commands that Dean be rescued from Hell and it doesn't occur to me for even one second that there might be something special about him besides the fact that he's supposed to stop the Apocalypse. I didn't consider how." He sighed, looking down. "Not for one second."

"It's not important now. We know and that's all that matters." They listened to the crickets chirp, the surf crash, Sam and Dean arguing over which three stars made Orion's belt. Kerry shook her head. "Cas, how is it possible?" She paused so long that Castiel started to ask what she meant. "How can Sam be Lucifer's vessel?"

It was not a question to which Castiel had an answer. "I've thought about that myself, a good, long time."

"Castiel, he's my little brother. I've known him all his life. Sam's so good and sweet and cares more about people than anyone I know, sometimes so much that he weeps for complete strangers. One time, we found a dead raccoon by the side of the road. A truck had hit it. Sammy named it Bandit and cried for two days. Cas, when we get Mexican food, he farts in the car for hours afterward and gets completely embarrassed about it. I know he's a big guy and sometimes when he gets mad, he can look pretty menacing, but..." Kerry glanced back at her brother, sitting on the hood of the car. "...look at those puppy dog eyes. He's my little Sammy. How can it be him?"

"Well... from what I've been told, vessels are not chosen by their nature, Kerry, but by their bloodline," Castiel tried to explain. "From there, the angels consider their strength, and for some, their vulnerability. Ruby was testing your brother on Lucifer's behalf. Sam proved to have just the right mixture of strength and tolerance to accept Lucifer into his body. That and he was too trusting. Ruby knew what she was doing."

"Yeah, the bitch-whore." The chirping crickets, the crash of the surf... Kerry nibbled at her thumbnail. "Cas, if it's a bloodline... and my brothers are the two warring archangels..." She looked up at him. "...then what am I? Cas, what's my part in this?"

It was clear that it was something Castiel had not given much thought to, not yet. He was quiet for a long, seemingly endless time. "Kerry... I don't know," he finally said. "I wish I had such answers for you, but I just don't know."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"There is one thing I do know." Approaching her, Castiel took her by the arms. "We're going to save the world without Sam or Dean making that sacrifice. So whatever purpose you're supposed to serve, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, Kerry. None of you are going to be sacrificed."

There was such determination in his eyes, Kerry almost believed they could get through this exactly as he said, all in tact, no one left behind. "Right. I know you're right, Castiel." She hugged his neck.

When she wouldn't let go, Castiel gently pulled her away. "Yes. I'm right."

Kerry, clearing her throat, resisted the urge to kiss him. She realized that there were worse things than taking stupid chances with your life and screwing everything up, getting your brothers mad at you and catching grief from them just for a chance to get high. There was being in love with a person... no, a heavenly being... who could probably never love you back.

"Castiel..." Kerry forced a smile. "...did you know that the stars make images in the sky?"

He canted his head at her. "Don't they call those constellations?"

"Yeah. Want Sammy to show us some?"

Castiel smiled. "I'd be delighted."

"Delighted? That's a new one. I'm not sure I've ever heard you use that word."

"I often try to increase my Earthly vocabulary so I don't stick out quite so much," explained Castiel.

Kerry just looked at him a moment. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think you're always going to stick out, Castiel."

The angel frowned.

Kerry quickly added, "Just a little."

They walked arm in arm back to the Impala, back to Sam and Dean, the four of them walking together into their uncertain future.

**Tuck Those Ribbons Under Your Helmet** (c) 2010 Demented Stuff/The Pleasure of the People  
**Supernatural** is (c) 2005+ Kripke Enterprises, Wonderland, & Warner Brothers/The CW Television.


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